We are back from Chennai after the rituals connected with Kunjappa’s passing. In our society whenever somebody passes away after living their life to the full, it is called a Kalyana Chavu in other words, though there is an all pervading grief over the passing away of a dear one, the ambience is that of feasting. In our village, there are big lunches with payasam and pappadam for 10 days after the funeral to which all the people in the village are invited, and sweets and snacks are prepared in the memory of the departed soul. There are sponsored lunches by the daughters and daughters-in-law and sambandhis. By the end of the 13th day, one is overstuffed with food. On the 13th day again Murukku and laddu, and appam and pori are distributed to one and all.
It took a couple of days to sleep off the early hours and late nights that we had had at Chennai and then the daily grind has started again.
7 comments:
Dear Ammupatti,
This is my first visit to your blog and first post here and obviously, you do not know me. But I feel a sense of connection to everything you have written here.
I am a Kerala Iyer, with mostly all the same values as you have described. Strangely enough, I married a Telugu Brahmin from cosmopolitan Hyderabad.
All well between us, but many times his family does not understand my values or upbringing. My husband himself is very neutral. This drives me sometimes to show where I come from and what I belong to.
I treasure every little piece of my Kerala Iyer background and miss being an Iyer, really!!
Well, I hope you understand what my woes are!
Hi Kiyer
I am glad you can relate to all I say.I can fully understand the difficulties to be faced when you have to live with people having a different culture, but I would say, having decided to embrace that culture, it would do wonders if you could accept that all cultures are based on some value system being followed for ages.
Count your blessings!
All the best
Ammupatti
Dear Ammupatti,
You have nailed it!
And yes, I count my blessings a lot.
But yet waver many times and that is my shortcoming. Just this simple comment from you gives me strength to move on.
Thanks and Best Wishes on the New Year ahead to all your family.
KIyer.
Hi Kiyer
I am so gald that you could draw so much strength from my simple words. You must really be a person lot of will power to know your shortcomings.I am sure you will have a wonderful life with such positive attitude.
Best wishes
I went to this blog after a long time since i was busy.
great. you really sound like a paatti. iknow figurateively or literally you are not a patti and very much younger in mind than any body else.
By the way i was expecting some blog about your athai who passed away recently.Full of love to her children,nieces,nephews and grand children though suffrered in mid life at the end she lived with love from all espesially from her grand children
peearkay
Dear Ammu Paatti,
I love all your posts. Please keep blogging. I have a request - can you post about the yearly shraadham ritual (with homam). When I was growing up, my father did not do it in an elaborate fashion since we were in a different town. My parents-in-law do it very elaborately, and all of my husbands uncles and aunts make it a point to come down for that one day. I'd like to undtand more about the rituals involved and also the food prepared.
Thank you so much You are amazing!
-Sindhu
Hi Sindhu
It is heartening to note that you want to learn more about our rituals and you have a very well knitted family with all the brothers coming together for the annual shradham. However, I would like to point out that though the basic rituals are same, there are subtle variations in the food prepared from house to house. Hence I suggest that you learn these things by observing the elders in your family, which is how I learnt it from my mil. Within 2 years, it would be my mil who would be doing the odd jobs and I would be the one who would take the main responsibility of cooking for the Shradham.
All the best.
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