Grihapravesham (I)

For sometime now, we had been planning to move to a smaller city/smaller place, just to get out of this maddening crowd in Bangalore. The roads have become very crowded, the vehicular traffic has increased to such an extent that walking on the roads is next to impossible. The haphazard parking of cars and motor cycles makes it difficult to get out of the houses or even enter people’s houses when you go visiting. The problem worsens if it rains.

We had always wanted to go back to a quiet and leisurely village in Kerala surrounded by greeneries and flowing water. Running water has been a weakness for me for so long. I would give anything to be able to take a swim in clear and unpolluted water. It has remained an unfulfilled dream so far. Somehow, moving to Kerala was not happening due to various factors. So when my brother suggested about an apartment a little away from the crowd, our handsome and charming son decided to buy it so that we could move in there and have a quieter life. The added incentive was that all my brothers were also buying an apartment each there, although none of them had plans to move in there at the moment.

The apartment house was ready for occupation from the builder’s point and people had already occupied. We wanted to make some minor modifications/additions here and there and also get the interiors done. We were promised everything would be done in 2 weeks time and we could occupy it by 1st week of March. We gave a month’s extra time and decided to conduct the grihapravesham after Vishu, so that our son could also get some vacation.We made trips to the new apartment almost everyday and though the interiors were ready by end of March, the additional masonry work had not even started. With lots of coaxing and cajoling we got some of the work done and decided to conduct the grihapravesham on the 23rd of April.

In the meantime, we started packing our things and also preparing for the grihapravesham. We had arranged to conduct a Ganapathi Homam, Vasthu Homam and Navagraha Homam and host lunch for a few of the near and dear.

We had to buy a whole lot of things and transport them to the new place, 6 kms away. The weather was scorching and humid..To reach this new place either we had to take an autorikshaw who would oblige at his will and ask for that extra 10 bucks or we had to walk upto 1½ kms if we decided to travel by bus. At times we walked almost 1 km to get a rikshaw. My memories went back 19 years when we had moved to our present house and did the grihapravesham in a much more elaborate manner. Things weren’t so difficult then, I remembered. We both were working full time and children were in school. When I said this to our handsome and charming younger son over phone, he said, “Patti was there amma.” True. My astute and blessed mother-in-law was around and she was a great manager and co-ordidnator. She was not at an age where she could get out and manage things but I could give her a list of things to be done by the various people and leave home in the morning for work and reach back late in the evening after visiting the construction site and every thing would be ready at home. Most importantly, all the four of us were mobile (on our own). We could finish many chores on our way up and down and didn’t have to depend on each other. Things were different now. Patti is no more with us and nor is any one mobile.

Couple of days to go for the function, my husband borrowed his friend’s car so that we could commute much more comfortably. Our son brought the car from the friend’s place. We all went to the apartment and stayed back longer to get the pending electrical work finished without any worry about reaching back home as we had a car. We came down at 7.30pm and found the car with a flat tyre. With great difficulty we got a mechanic to repair the flat tyre and we left the place around 8.30 pm. Hardly had we moved a kilometer and suddenly the car jerked and was going towards the electric post by the side of the road. We did not know what was happening and only our son’s presence of mind saved us from a major accident. He could somehow bring the car to the side of the narrow road and that was it. The car wouldn’t move, the steering wheel was not controlling the wheels as it had had come loose from its couplings. We were in the midst of a very busy road, hardly enough room for single lane traffic. We just couldn’t move the car. My husband phoned his friend, who just gave his mechanic’s phone number and said we could get in touch with the mechanic. It was futile even to imagine that the mechanic would be available at the garage at 9.30pm. My husband tried his luck with one of the workmen we had engaged to get some grill work done and it clicked. The nice man came with two of his boys and still we couldn’t move the care. Cars and buses were honking on all the four sides and I was sitting inside a hot and humid car. With nothing else to do, I just sat there and started reciting my Lalitha Sahasranamam per my daily schedule. Just then two boys came as if from nowhere and asked us what the problem was. They were car mechanics, they said and with great difficulty with the combined effort of all of us, we could push the car away from the road. The boys said, they would get their tools and see if something could be done. Meanwhile, our son insisted that we go home. With difficulty, we hired an auto and reached home at 10.00 pm. Later our son also reached home after having deposited the car under the care of the grill maker.

So the next day getting the car repaired was also on our shoulders. With luck, we could get the job done by evening after spending a handsome amount.

We had just 30 hours to go for the function.

Recipe: Pudina Chutney

It has been very long since I last posted on my blog. As I said earlier, I was too busy with doing up the new flat, arranging for the grihapravesham, packing to move to the new place and also visiting Kerala to attend my nephew’s upanayanam. There are so many things to write about, it boggles my mind. I don’t know where to start.

We also had to suffer an unbearable summer. Kerala was worse with higher humidity. By the time I was back, I had prickly heat all over the body. Luckily for us, we have started getting rains for the past one week and the temperature has come down. I hope the rains continue.

Before I go into the details of grihapravesham and Kerala trip, let me give the recipe for Pudina Chutney, which our younger son has been asking for sometime now. Though I gave him the recipe over phone, he said, it tasted more like “chilli chutney” when he made it.

Pudina (mint) has excellent medicinal properties. It relieves indigestion, biliousness, flatulence, iron deficiency anaemia and hence including pudina chutney in everyday meal is very good for health. Tea prepared with pudina leaves to which a tsp. each of lime juice and honey are added is an excellent cure for common cold, sore throat and that bloated sensation in the stomach after a heavy meal.

A face pack of fresh pudina leaves cures pimples and blackheads and is a very good moisturizer.

So here is the genuine recipe for the chutney.


Ingredients:

Pudina leaves(mint leaves) : 2 cups
Coriander leaves : 2 cups
Green chillies : 3 or 4 nos.(according to taste)
Tamarind or : size of a marble
Tamarind paste : 1 tsp.
Jaggery : 1 tbsp.
Salt to taste
Curry leaves and ginger: optional



Method:

Wash the pudina leaves and coriander leaves and green chillies in running water and wipe with clean towel to remove all the moisture.

If using tamarind, soak in 2 tbsp. of hot water. Grind all the ingredients together. Your tasty pudina chutney is ready. ENJOY!



It may look like a lot of quantity of leaves to start with and so don’t grind in a very big jar of the blender. Add little quantity at a time and with each grinding the leaves will settle down when crushed and the whole lot of leaves will go in a smaller jar, which will be more convenient to grind. In a bigger jar, once all the leaves settle down the grinding won’t be proper as the quantity will be very little.

This chutney goes well with chapatis, puris, dosa, idli and rice. This can also be used as a sandwich filling.

Pudina chutney can also be used as a side dish for Molkoottal.

Long timeout

It has been a long time since I posted, and it will be longer still before I get another chance to post. First we had Vishu, then we had to move our home, and now I'm off on to a family ceremony for my nephew's thread ceremony (pictures of Puthucode when I return!).

In the meanwhile if you folks can post comments about things you'd like me to write about, please do so, it will give me a good list to start off with when I get back.

Vishu 2007

Another Vishu. What was special about this year’s Vishu was that our son was with us to celebrate Vishu.

Though Vishu is the new year day for Malayalees, Tamilians, people of the North eastern states of India and also the Punjabis, this year (as in many other years), all the other people except Malayalees, celebrated their new year day on the 14th and the Malayalees celebrated it on the 15th April. That was because the Mesha Sanakramam or the time at which the sun entered the Mesha rasi was at 11.40 am on the 14^th. The Vishu Kani is seen on the morning after the Mesha Snakramam, Hence, though April 14^th was 1^st of Mesha masa, This year the Vishu Kani was seen on the 15th morning.

The year that was born on the 14th is named Sarvajith. There are 60 years starting with Prabhava according to Hindu Astrological science.

As usual, we had the Vishukani in the morning. From early morning on Vishu, I had a very bad throat and by breakfast time, it developed into very bad bronchitis and I was feeling so exhausted I had to drop the idea of making a grand feast with Chakka Pradhaman. I had been looking forward to this since our son was with us. But both the son and father insisted that I shouldn’t overstrain myself and we had a simple lunch of Manga Koottan, Kootu and Palpayasam instead.

While almost all the other Indian states celebrate Diwali with crackers, Kerala has crackers during Vishu. Cracker shops would sprout even in the remotest of villages a couple of days before Vishu. Usually schools start their summer vacation from the 1^st of April and hence children are at their leisure.

When we were growing up we could buy a big bag of crackers for just Re 1. A day prior to Vishu, Kalathappa (our grandfather) would give us 4 annas (25 paise) each to buy crackers. We would emotionally blackmail Echiyamma (our grandmother) to part with another 4 annas and the three of us (my sister, my cousin and I) would have in total Rs 1.50. This firmly in hand, we would march to the market. Before we left, Kalathappa would say, “don’t forget the “malapadakkam” for the kandam. This meant, ½ anna would go for that. Anyway, we would come back with a bag full of colormatches and sparklers and flowerpots and very few bursting crackers. Back home, we would divide our shopping and dry them in the sun separately. On vishu morning, after seeing the Kani, we would start bursting our crackers. On vishu morning, we would again be richer by Rs0.50, got as Kaineettam from Kalathappa and Echiyamma. So we would do one more round of the market to get some more crackers for the evening.

Recipe: Idichu Pizhinja Payasam

When I had written about the Wedding feast, one of the commenters said that (s)he had never heard of Idichu Pizhinja Payasam and I had promised I would post the recipe soon. I was waiting for a good excuse to prepare this payasam and the golden opportunity dawned today. Today was the “star birthday” of our elder son and as has been our practice for the past 15 years or more, we celebrated his birthday in his absence. Usually, we cook a grand lunch and he eats whatever stuff is available at his work place away from home. Thankfully, this time he went to my cousin’s home and had a grand lunch.

So for the birthday lunch, we prepared Mango kootan, Idichakka poduthuval (tender raw jackfruit curry), idichu pizhinja payasam, vadam and of course rice and curds.

While the recipes for Mango kootan and idichakka poduthuval will come later, today we will have the recipe for idichu pizhinja payasam.

The idichu pizhinja payasam is the most favoured payasam among Keralites and it gets its rather complicated name from the fact that the coconut milk, which is the main ingredient of this payasam, was extracted in the olden days by pounding the grated coconut in a stone mortar (called an “Ural” in malayalam and Tamil and “Okhali” in Hindi). The malayalam term for pounding and extracting is “idichu pizhinju” and hence the name. It is also known by the name Chathachathayam. It is the main neyvedyam in our Annapoorneswari temple during Navarathri, at which time this payasam is made with some 50kgs of rice and milk extracted from some 600 to 700 coconuts. The payasam is made in large urulis or charakkus and is stirred with long handled ladles known as chattukam which measure some 2 mts. long. I will try to get pictures of these during my visit to my native village next month. For the neyvedyam in our temple, a special type of banana known as kadali in malayalam is used. This is not very popular in Bangalore although I did see it in California during our last visit. I have not used this in my recipe. No flavouring agents like cardamom powder or dry ginger powder is used in the payasam and the natural fragrance of the coconut milk and kadali pazham and pure ghee enhance the flavour of this payasam.

It was very difficult for me to scale down the recipe for 4 servings, and I ventured to try it with milk from ½ coconut. I have never made this with less than 2 coconuts.

The pictures show the actual quantity of milk obtained from ½ a coconut and the quantity of payasam got from using the ingredients mentioned below.

Ingredients:

(4 servings)

Milk from ½ a coconut
Or
Readymade coconut milk ½ tin

Raw rice : ¼ cup
Jaggery : 1 cup
Sugar : 2 tbsp
Pure ghee: 2 tbsp


Method:

Extract coconut milk as explained in the recipe for Parippu Pradhaman.

Wash and cook the rice in the third milk (thinnest) . (This can be done in a pressure cooker).

Melt the jaggery in one cup of water and strain it to remove sand particles and other impurities.

Transfer the cooked rice to a thick bottomed wide mouthed vessel. Add the jaggery syrup and boil until the rice and the jaggery syrup are well blended and the raw jaggery smell disappears. Add the ghee and stir well.

(If using the bananas – make small round pieces of the banana and fry them in ghee until well blended and add to the payasam now.)

Add the second milk (thinner variety) and boil for another 5- 6 minutes until the payasam starts thickening. Add the first milk (thickest) and immediately switch off the stove. Keep stirring with a long handled ladle for another 5 minutes to prevent crust formation.

Enjoy!

P.S. : As I have said earlier this payasam is made in thick uruli made of an alloy called oodu in malayalam and vengalam in Tamil. This is a very thick alloy and retains heat for 1 – 2 hours. Hence the first milk is added only after removing the uruli from the stove. The payasam is not heated after the addition of first milk as the first milk might separate releasing coconut oil if heated.

Recipe: Tomato rice

This rice preparation is a favourite of the family. It is spicy, tangy and well balanced and is a meal in itself. It can be had with just papads or a raita. I serve it with a bland gourd curry (kootu) as the rice is spicy.

The recipe calls for dhania powder and chilli powder, however I use my sambar powder instead as the sambar powder contains a lot more spices, this enhances the flavour and taste of the rice. Actually, in most dishes I use sambar powder in place of dhania powder, which gives an excellent aroma to the dish.

Coconut milk is an important ingredient in this recipe. I make cooconut milk by blending fresh grated coconut with ½ cup of warm water and straining it through a colander. I repeat the process with some more warm water to extract all the remaining milk from the coconut.(While blending the coconut, I add the garlic and ginger to it, so that the juices are extracted along with the coconut milk). Ready made coconut milk can also be used.

Try this recipe and enjoy.

Ingredients:

Tomatoes : 250gms
Basmati rice : 1 cup
Coconut milk : 1 cup
Ginger : 2” piece
Garlic : 6 or more pods (as per taste)
Onion : 100gms.
Green chillies : 2 or 3
Cloves : 2
Cinnamon : 1” stick
Black cardamom : 1 no.
Bay leaves : 1 or 2
Dhania powder : 1 tbsp.
Chilli powder : 1 or 2 tsp (as per taste)
Turmeric powder : 1 tsp.
Salt to taste
Ghee or oil : 2 tbsp.

Cashew nuts : for garnishing.
Curry leaves and coriander leaves for garnishing.



Preparation:

Blanch the tomatoes by dipping in boiling water for 5 minutes and immediately dipping in cold water. Remove the skin (blanching helps in removing the skin easily). Make a puree of the tomatoes. Keep aside.

Pepare coconut milk as explained above or use ready made coconut milk. Extract the juice of ginger and garlic by blending and straining the juice. Keep aside.

Slice the onions and slit the green chillies.

Wash and soak the rice for 10 minutes. Heat ghee in a pressure cooker and fry the cashew nut to a golden brown color. Remove and keep aside for garnishing. Fry the onions to a golden brown. Remove and keep aside for garnishing. Into the same ghee, add the whole garam masalas (cloves, cinnamon and cardamom) and bay leaf. When they stop spluttering, add the slit green chillies and saute for a minute. Add the rice and fry till the rice starts spluttering. Add the tomato puree and coconut milk and juice of ginger and garlic. As the tomato puree is quite thick it provides only half its measure of water for the rice to cook. The ratio of water to rice for cooking the rice varies depending on the rice. Normally basmati rice will need two cups of water to one cup of rice. If quantity of coconut milk used is 1 cup and tomato puree is 1 cup, we need to add an additional half cup of water to the rice for cooking. Add the dhania powder, chilli powder (or the sambar powder), turmeric powder and salt. Close the pressure cooker and cook the rice with the weight valve on. When done, garnish with curry leaves, coriander leaves and cahsew nuts and fried onions.

ENJOY!
P.S.: Of course, this is my entry for JFI Tomatoes

Grahanam

We celebrated Ugadi on Monday. We refers to the Kannadigas, the Telugus, the Maharashtrians and the like. We at home of course celebrate every festival with everybody. As long as there is good food to be eaten, we Iyers are in! Ugadi is the new year’s day for all those observing the lunar calendar. People deck up the house and prepare a festive lunch and offer pujas in the temple. The important item of the festival lunch is Holige or Obattu and Ambode. I thought of preparing obattu, but then, my good friend Veena brought a few for us.

On Ugadi day, we also had a partial solar eclipse early in the morning. My mother was asking me, “did you observe the Grahanam(eclipse)?” I burst out laughing and asked her, “Amma, how do you observe Grahanam? After all you don’t have to prepare Parippu Kanji or payasam, right?” She said, “that’s true. You don’t have to prepare any thing.”

Having said so to my mother, my memories went back to the grahanams when we were growing up. Those days, grahanams were indeed days filled with lots of fun.
To start with, the whole village was in a relaxed mood during the time of eclipse as nobody was supposed to eat anything during the eclipse time. The last meal had to be had atleast 2 hours prior to the start of eclipse and the kitchens were closed till the end of eclipse. This meant that the womenfolk had no kitchen work and we could spend time with our mothers in relaxation. Otherwise, they would be always busy with preparing meals or other kitchen work. During the eclipse, nobody was supposed even to drink water. The stomach was to be free from work also, as digestive functions were also thought to be affected by the “rays emitted during eclipse.”

And then, there was a big congregation at the side of the stream to have a dip at the start of the eclipse along with some vedic chants to ward off the evil effects of the eclipse. (Most of the Kerala Iyer settlements were around a temple and there very often was a river, stream or pond on the banks of which there were some banyan trees. Many of these congregations took place under these trees. There was a platform built around the banyan tree which the men sat and discussed various matters from politics to everyday events). As it was rare to get the older women at the stream during the day time on the other days, we had swimming races with the daring seniors on such occasions. It was loads of fun to swim with Parvathi patti, Seshi patti and the likes, and observing them indulging in teasing each other and mock fighting. If the eclipse was for a short duration, the fun was much more, as we were all supposed to have another dip at the end of the eclipse. This meant all stayed back at the poolside until the eclipse ended and we never got out of the water. We were scolded when we reached home for being in water for so long “like buffaloes.” “What if you catch a cold,” we were asked. By then the mothers would get very busy anyway, as they had to prepare food for all from scratch, as they had emptied the kitchen for the eclipse. Not even dosa or idli batter would be kept aside for use after grahanam. The only item brought forward thru grahanam was curds in which a piece of dhurva grass was been placed to ward off evil effects.

During grahanam, various shanthi poojas were conducted in individual houses and also dhanams (alms) were given to brahmins, as it was believed that the people on whose birthstars the grahanam was falling, will have to suffer the ill effects of grahanam. They were also supposed to wear a pattam, a palm leaf on which some mantras were written to ward off evil effects. We would dance around the pattam wearers making fun of them. To my luck, I never had to wear a pattam when I was growing up, afterwards I never cared.

And how did we view the eclipse? We were sternly warned not to look at the sun directly. We did not have access to any special glasses/filters like the present day kids, we did not even have sunglasses, to view the eclipse. Our elders taught us to darken glass pieces with the soot from the oil lamp and view the sun thru this darkened glass. Another method was to look at the reflection of the eclispsed sun in a decanted solution of cowdung in water.

There was another important ritual to be observed by all pregnant women during the grahanam. They were advised to hide, literally, they were asked to stay inside a dark room, closing the doors and making sure that even a small hole or crack in a window or door was plugged. When I think of those days, I am surprised no one else kept conpany for these hiding ladies, atleast for small talk. They sat inside the room all alone during the period of grahanams. It was believed that pregnant women who did not hide during grahanam would deliver children with deformities. It is not clear to me whether this belief has any scientific backing, though we read often that many practices being observed blindly over generations on the advice of elders have sound scientific backing. I wonder what today’s young women do during grahanam and how many deformed children are born because of their not hiding. It is to be remembered here that today science has helped us to detect many deformities proir to the childbirth and corrective measures are taken immediately after the child is born and in some cases even in the foetus state itself. Such facilities were not available until toward the end of the 20th century. Today it is quite common to carry out many prenatal scans and tests.

There are people who advise the young generation to hide during grahanam today also, as was illustrated by our friend whose daughter had a child two days before this solar eclipse. He called us to give the good news and said, “see her luck, she does not have to hide during grahanam.”

Karadayan Nonbu

I just cannot believe that it is already one year since I wrote about Karadayan Nonbu. It cetainly doesn’t feel like that long. Time really flies. The usual question people ask us when we meet is, “ How do you spend your time”. I can only ask them in reply, “what time?” I can actually hear my sons saying, ”you will never get time.” It is true, I somehow manage to fill my time to the brim with the result that my only complaint always is that I don’t have enough time.

We are back to the malayalam month of Meena or Panguni in Tamil. As usual we observed Karadayan nonbu on the 1^st of Meena. This year, the sankrama was at 2.30am on the 15^th and hence the priest conveniently announced that 6.30-7.30pm on the 14^th would be the auspicious time to do the pooja. When I asked him why he advanced the time, he said, “Madam, nobody will get up at that hour and observe the puja. 6.30-7.30pm on the 14^th is auspicious for conducting any puja as per the Panchanga." The priests have to be very diplomatic these days. I can remember times when we would keep awake till 11.30pm to do the puja or would wake up at 1.00am and get ready to do the puja. I must admit, however, that I also did the puja at about 7.30pm on the 14^th this year. Our family priest has many fine qualities, but when it comes to mixing the practical with the spiritual, he excels himself.

An interesting point about this puja is that in our village (I don’t know about other places) and also in my husband’s village, jasmine or other types of flowers are not offered during this puja. The flowers offered are what are known as Arali in Malayalam which has a sweet frangrance. As in the past years we managed to get the flowers from a nearby garden this year also.


As usual, I prepared both vella adai and kara adai as per my tried and tested recipe. Some of my friends say, they use karamani or chickpeas in place of green gram dal. I feel green gram dal gives body to the adai and also makes it very soft.


Although, I had blogged about the recipe last year, I didn’t have the pictures for it then. Each of these pictures follows the various steps in making the adais: making the balls out of the dough, flattening them, placing them on the steamer and then finally the steamed adais.




After preparing the adais, I got ready for the puja. There is one place for each female member of the family, however small the girl is. Even if there is only one female member, usually we never have one neyvedyam kolam (rangoli). It is usually two. I offer the neyvedyam and charadu for the Tulsi plant.

After the kolam is made, the puja offering is prepared thus: A banana leaf is put on each kolam. One sweet adai, one kozhukkattai and butter, two bananas, betel leaves and nuts, two pieces of turmeric, arali flowers and the all important Nonbu Charadu.



After doing the puja, the charadu is tied around the neck and the neyvedyam is partaken by the offerers. (This is one of the few occasions that ladies get to eat before men). Though you can have any number of adais, it is only one adai and one kozhukkattai kept during the puja, The verses for the puja are

Urukkatha vennayum Oradayum notren
Orukalum en kanavan piriyathirukkanam

which can be translated as “I offer butter and one adai, let me and my husband be together always."

The Uppadai or the savoury adai is also not offered as neyvedyam. It is only to have as a savoury item after the sweet adais.

Sambandhi Sandai

Ever since I started writing about “Kerala Iyer Wedding”, many people have been asking me why I have not yet written about Sambandhi Sandai. So, here we go. Sambandhi Sandai is an event dreaded by the bride’s party and some fine entertainment that other visitors eagerly anticipate.

When I think of sambandhi sandai, my memories travel back some half a century in time to the fifties and sixties, to a society that considered demands for dowry, seeru, the way that the various rituals were conducted, etc as just and were dictated very strictly by the prospective in-laws of the bride. Such demands for dowry, seeru, etc were an integral part of any marriage and treated as important as the rituals. Many marriage proposals broke down on the issue of dowry. Also there were instances where the in-laws to be would get a goldsmith to test the quality and/or the weight of the gold or demand bills from reputed shops before the wedding functions started. Besides, there were always one or two close relatives of the groom who would have been disappointed in not having succeeded in getting their daughter or niece wedded to the groom, now seeking their revenge by having a go at the bride’s party. The interests of the latter people were only to create some mischief in the proceedings. It should also be borne in mind that those were the days when the present day event managers were absent and for the conduct of the function the bride’s parents depended heavily on the men and women folk, young and old, in the village with the attended shortcomings as well as lack of etiquette and experience. All these contributed to some friction here and there, unfortunately some were blown out of proportion resulting in verbal exchanges fanned by some unscrupulous relatives, often with their own agenda.

Sambandhi Sandai literally means a fight between the new relatives. In the Kerala Iyer weddings (actually in almost all Indian weddings), the bride’s parents are supposed to be responsible for the smooth conduct of the wedding, starting from the marriage pandal, nadaswaram, catering, entertaining the guests to bidding farewell to all the guests. The onus for the successful conduct of the wedding rested solely on the bride’s party. The bridegroom’s party are the honored guests, who need to be received at the entrance hall, made confortable, invited for each ritual of the marriage and for meals (with coconuts, plantain fruits, parippu thengai kutty as the occasion demands, accompanied by nadaswaram each time), in short, all their needs however small or big are to be met to their satisfaction. It was the bride’s party’s responsibility to see that they had no wants and were happily entertained.

In a big function like a marriage, when there are so many rituals to be completed and so many meals to be served and so many other arrangements to be made, involving so many people, young and old, it can always happen that there are one or two slip ups in any of the above. There are always people who could find fault with something or the other just to make an issue and blow it out of proportion and to humiliate the bride’s parents, as they are the event managers.

In the olden days, as the marriages were usually conducted in the bride’s residence, the guests were accomodated in a nearby house. So usually, the “sambandhi sandai” started with complaints of the inadequacies of the accomodation and other inconveneinces in the quarters allotted to them. More often than not, this came from the son-in-law of the bridegroom’s parents, as he is the most important guest of their family. Some inconvenience to their mappilai (son-in-law) was something nobody could ignore.

This continues even today, though in another form. These days, most of the weddings are arranged in wedding halls with equal number of rooms for both the bride’s and bridegroom’s parties. It often happens that the bridegroom’s party demands more rooms for their guests, leaving the bride’s party with very little room to accommodate their guests. I remember during my cousin’s daughter’s wedding, the bridegroom’s athai and athimbar (parternal aunt and uncle, who are the daughter and son-in-law of that family) demanded a separate room for them at 11.30 pm and my cousin had to actually vacate the room where his sister and family were put up and send them to a hotel about 5kms away.

Then, there were always the sandai for milk for the baby and again the VIP guests. In the olden days, the only source of milk was the neighbour who owned cows or from the nearby towns, during big occasions. There were no refrigerators to preserve the milk and hence after the guests have been served with coffee and the payasam made, the milk would be used for setting curds for the next day. Around 10 pm would come the demand for the milk and naturally there would be no milk available. A loud unleashing would follow and this was one demand that could never be fulfilled because there was no hope for procuring milk at that late hour in small places. My mother-in-law used to remember this story relating to the time of her marriage. Some guests demanded milk for a big group at 11 pm and one of her uncles decided to play a trick on the guests. He filled a big pot with water and added one glass of milk in it and gave it to the guests saying that was the only milk availbale at that hour. What followed, my astute and blessed mother-in-law could never remember. (She had many such stories up her sleeves. I only wish I had started on this blogging endeavour during her time.) It is very different today even in remote villages, where pasterurised milk is available and almost all households have refrigerators.

Other important issues during the olden days for sambandhi sandai was dowry (which has almost died out today), seer, the items for breakfast, lunch and dinner,etc. In general, issues as insignificant as who received the bridegroom’s mother at the entrance, to the size of ladoo could start a war of words. Usually, the bride’s parents would bend over backwards to pacify the “warmongers” and would even be prepared to fall at their feet and beg pardon for any unforeseen shortcomings, but the sandai reaches its full crescendo, when one of the guests from the bride’s side starts raising their voice against the shouting brigade. Usually, there is somebody on the bride’s side who do not want to give in for all their demands and the sandai becomes a real do or die and sometimes ends in a walkout by the groom’s party. There have been instances when people have walked out halfway through their dinner or halfway through the marriage functions. One can only imagine the agony of the parents of the bride, after all the care taken by them.

While I was writing this, one of my friends happened to read a preview of my post and asked me to elaborate on the scene, as she had never witnessed a sambandhi sandai.

The one sambandhi sandai I remember clearly was during a wedding in our village when I was a little girl of 9 or 10 years old.

The scene : The bridegroom’s party sitting for their evening tiffin. Bondas were being served as part of the tiffin. The boy who was serving the tiffin had reached the place where the mother of the groom was having her meal. Having come near the lady, the boy asked, “ Bonda, mami?” (i.e., “Would you like another bonda, aunty?”). The lady suddenly got up from her seat complaining in a loud voice and almost breaking down, “Look at the impropriety of the boy. Shouldn’t he know whom he is addressing. How dare he address me as ‘bonda mami’. Am I a bonda mami? Is this the way I should be insulted on my son’s wedding day? I cannot tolerate this. I am not going to have anything to do with any of the proceedings from this minute.” She went on and on and the boy who was serving bonda and all others were completely shocked at the turn of the events. It was a very common practice while serving to announce the dish he or she is serving like “bonda, mami” or “payasam, mama” and with no offence meant. Soon all the relatives of the groom surrounded the lady and some started blaming the boy and yet others started consoling the lady and in general a great commotion was created. The bride’s party was taken aback and did not know what to do. There were more rituals to be completed. The groom’s brother (who was just a boy of 20+) emerged and ordered the bride’s father, who was old enough to be his own father, to go and apologise to his mother, if he wanted his daughter’s wedding rituals to be completed. I can never forget this incident and the pain, agony and shame on the bride’s father’s face.

It is not for nothing that they say in Tamil, Veettai katti par, Kalyanam Panni Par meaning, construct a house or conduct marriage to know how difficult these tasks are.

Recipe: Thenkuzhal and Manoharam (2 in 1 sweet and salty crunchies)

After reading my posts on a Kerala Iyer Wedding, friends have been asking me why I still have not written about Seer Bakshanam and most importantly Sambandhi Sandai. I will write about these later.

In the meanwhile I have been busy with my vattal making and my annual squash preparations.

I also had to send some snacks for our handsome and charming son through a friend who was visiting India. I decided to write about that first.

This time around, I made the family favourite of sweet and salty crunchies. The salty variety is known as Thenkuzhal and the sweet variety is known as Manoharam. I also made melon seeds halwa and kanupodi.

Thenkuzhal literally means “tubes of honey”. Perhaps it got the name because it looks like a hollow tube. In the olden days, peolple who used to collect produce from the forest used to bring back honey that they collected in the hollow of a bamboo tree. Curiously, thenkuzhal is not a sweet preparation.

Manoharam means “simply beautiful or delicious”. This crunchy sweet just melts in the mouth. This is one of the favourites which is used to fill the Parupputhengai kudu and to make the “kuttys” during the wedding and other functions. Many such kuttys are needed for a wedding. Usually, South Indian sweets are soft. Manoharam is a rare crunchy sweet.

Let us move on and see how the 2 in 1 sweet and salty crunchies are prepared. The ingredients are the same for both. My mother used to make this with rice flour and urad dal powder. I have learned a tastier combination from my cousin-in-law, Rajam. I like this combination better, it is simply delicious. Thanks Rajam!

Both of these preparations require a mould to shape the dough. It is a container with a mould at one end. this mould has differently shaped and sized holes for the dough to squeeze through. a piston is used to squeeze the dough through.


Ingredients:

Rice flour : 2 cups
Bengal gram dal : 2/3 cup
Green gram : 1/3 cup
Urad dal : 1 tbsp.
Butter : 2 tbsp.

The above ingredients are same for both thenkuzhal and manoharam. Roast the bengal gram dal and green gram and urad dal separately, until they turn slightly pink in colour and a nice aroma emanates. Cool and powder them together to a very fine consistency. Sieve to ensure fineness. The proportion is, 1 cup of mixed grams powder to 2 cups of rice flour.

Additional ingredients for Thenkuzhal:
Hing or asafoetida : size of a pea, soaked in water (one may use hing powder also)
Jeera : 1 tsp.
Salt to taste

Oil for deep frying.

Method:

Sieve the rice flour and the gram flour together. Knead the butter and salt together by hand in a wide pan. Add the flour, jeera, hing and enough water to make a stiff dough (stiffer than chapathi dough). Heat oil. When the oil smokes, press the dough through the mould using the plate with 5 plain holes. Remove from oil when cooked. This is Thenkuzhal. Enjoy!



For Manoharam:

Make the dough using rice flour, gram flour, butter and only a pinch of salt and fry as above. Fry the dough into thenkuzhal as above.

Break the fried thenkuzhal into 1” pieces.

For 1 measure of broken thenkuzhal use the following ingredients:

Jaggery : 3/4 measure ( sugar also can be used instead of jaggery)
Coconut or copra pieces : 2 tbsp.
Dried ginger powder : 1 tbsp.


Melt the jaggery in 1 cup of water. Strain to remove any impurities or sand. Pour into a thick bottomed wide pan, add the the coconut pieces and boil to get a very thick syrup. To test the thickness of the syrup, drop half teaspoon syrup into little cold water; it should make a hard stone like ball. (Care should be taken to boil the syrup to a thick consistency or the thenkuzhal will become soggy). Remove from stove add the dried ginger powder and broken thenkuzhal. Keep stirring with a long and firm spatula until all the pieces are coated with the syrup and the pieces are separated. This is a slightly tedious process. Enjoy the delicious manoharam!

Recipe: Kashi Halwa

Having aroused the appetite of everybody by giving a big list of the goodies we had during the wedding, I feel it only proper to give the recipe of some of the goodies we had. We already have recipes of Rava Kesari, Aviyal, Olan, Nendran Chips, Sarkkarai puratti, Sambar, Kalan, Idli Molagai podi, Puliyodarai, etc.

We will now prepare Kashi Halwa. Many people are under the impression that Kashi Halwa is some special sweet of the city of Kashi or Benares. Far from it, Kashi Phal in Hindi means ash gourd or winter melon, Vellai Pooshanikkai in Tamil, Elavan or Kumbalanga in Malayalam, Kumbalakkai in Kannada Boodha Gummidikkai in Telugu. This vegetable is cooling, and also a laxative and diuretic. Additionally, it supplies bulk with a low calorie count. The juice of this vegetable is said to have many medicinal properties. This vegetable can be used to prepare many dishes (for instance, olan). Kashi Halwa, however tops the list.

To prepare Kashi Halwa, one must use fully mature ash gourd, which is heavy for its size. When cut it should be firm and not spongy. The vegetable should be peeled, washed, deseeded and grated. The gratings should be squeezed to remove all the water content. The gratings should be dry. Do not throw away the water. It can be used as vegetable stock for preparing soups or even sambar or rasam or dal.

Ingredients:

Grated and squeezed ash gourd : 2 cups
Milk : 1 cup
Sugar : 1 cup
Ghee : 3 tbsp.
Saffron : 2 – 3 strands
Orange food color : a pinch
Cashew nuts(broken) : 1 tbsp
Raisins : 1 tbsp.
Cardamom powder : ½ tsp.

Boil the milk and cook the grated and squeezed ash gourd in the milk. (I did it in a pressure cooker, so that by the time the ash gourd cooks the milk also thickens). Mix the saffron in a little milk and add to the cooked ash gourd. Mix the food color also in a little milk and add to the cooked ash gourd. In a heavy bottomed pan, heat 2 tbsp. of ghee and saute the cooked ash gourd in it for 5 minutes, Add the sugar and keep stirring until all the sugar is absorbed and the mixture starts leaving the sides of the pan. Add one tbsp. of ghee and mix well. Add the cardomom powder and remove from the stove. Heat the remaining ghee in a pan and add the cashew nuts and raisins. When the cashew nuts turn light pink in color pour onto the halwa. Mix well.

Enjoy the delicious Kashi halwa!

The Wedding (IV)

When I started writing about Kerala Iyer Wedding, I thought I had just enough material for one post. Little did I realise that I had just touched the tip of the iceberg. Many of our friends have been asking me to write the most important event of the Kerala Iyer Weddings, namely the Sadhya or the special feast which is the most important part of the wedding. As I have always said, Kerala Iyers are expert cooks and these days, even the Tamil Iyers have started hiring Kerala Iyer cooks to cater their weddings. Even in Kerala, a wedding in which the feast is prepared by Pattars, as Kerala Iyers are known among the non-Kerala Iyers, is considered the best wedding feast. The other day we were watching an old Malayalam movie, in which the groom’s father tells the bride’s father, “We cannot have a wedding lunch prepared by any one less than a pattar.”

In addition to the wedding feast, the most important item which occupies the pride of place and which is carefully scrutinized by the guests and the groom’s party, is the Chir Bakhsanam or Palaharam as it is known among the Kerala Iyers. Depending upon the custom in the bride’s family or the demand from the groom’s family, it is either Full Chir or Muzhu Chir, wherein 101 items of different types of sweets and savouries (may go upto 11 different varieties) are given to the groom’s party during the wedding or Half Chir in which 51 items of different varieties of sweets and savouries are given. In addition to this, the bride’s party has to prepare additional quantities to be distributed among their family circle. More about chir bakshanam later.

Coming to the wedding feasts, since the groom’s party arrives the morning before the wedding, the meals are spread over 3 days at the most, or 2 full days, if the groom’s party leaves on the day of wedding. At this wedding, the feast consisted of a breaksfast, lunch, evening snack and dinner on the previous day and on the wedding day and a pathiya sappadu (which in inself is a grand lunch) on the day after the marriage and packed lunch for the groom’s party to take home.

There was a 24 hrs cofee/tea stall at the venue of the wedding, so coffeeholics like hubby-dear had no problem.

Returning to the menu for various occasions, there was coffee on arrival at the wedding hall on the morning before the wedding, followed by breakfast.

Breakfast menu included

Rava Kesari
Rava Idli
Sambar vadai
Venpongal
Kothamalli chutney
Kothsu

Coffee/Tea followed
For the Lunch on the same day, we had

Thayir Pachadi
Chenai roast
Payar Thoran
Aviyal
Olan
Parippu
Ghee
Rice
Pappadam
Nendran Chips
Sarkkarai puratti upperi
Aamai vadai
Kadamba Sambar
Kaalan
Tomato Rasam
Paaladai Pradhaman
Buttermilk(ghetti Mor)
Pickles and
Puliinji

For the evening Tiffin, we had

Wheat Halwa
Mysore Bonda,
Pesarattu Upma
Allam Pachadi
Chutney and
Tea/coffee

In days past, the wedding meals started from this point and hence the evening tiffin on the previous day of the wedding used to be a very grand affair. Usually, the items served were two or more varieties of Rice Sevai, bonda or bajji with chuteny and 2 or more sweets, one of them usually Jehangir. I still remember my father asking us, “don’t we have to go for the evening tiffin of Rice sevai and Jehangir?” during one of the unconventional weddings of the current days, when there was only one day program for the wedding. This was when he was 80+ and we had a hard time explaining to him that the wedding program was only for one day. Finally, my sister-in-law had to make rice sevai for him in the evening.

The janavasam dinner is traditionally the most important dinner of the wedding. In the olden days, this dinner used to be a grand affair especially because it was cooked for a smaller crowd. Most of the people conduct the wedding reception also on the previous night these days, hence the dinner is much more elaborate. Usually there are North Indian, South Indian and even Chinese dishes to cater to the present day fast food addicts. Dosa counters and chat counters are a common sight. Varieties of salads are also part of the menu. In some weddings dinner is served in tastefully decorated buffet halls and to cater to those diehards who prefer to eat on a plantain leaf that is also arranged. While most of the Iyers in Tamil Nadu still prefer to have a classical music concert at the reception, other forms of music have started to become popular in other parts.

At R’s wedding, the reception was slated for the evening on the wedding day. However, we had an elaborate dinner in the evening after the Nischyathartham, which had


Sweet Pachadi
Thayir Pachadi
Khosemalli
Potato Karakkari
Cabbage and Peas Curry
Kootu
Bholi
Paal payasam
Aamai vadai
Rice
Parippu
Ghee
Murungai, chinna vengaya sambar
Appalam
Chips
Lemon Rasam
Ghettimor and
Pickles.


The wedding morning breakfast consisted of,

Kasi Halwa,
Idli – Molagaipodi
Chutney
Ghee Pongal
Medhuvadai and
Kothsu

For the grand wedding lunch, we had,

Sweet Pachadi
Thayir Pachadi
Beans Usili
Vazhakkai Podi potta kari
Mixed veg. Kootu
Khose Malli – 2 types
Aamai vadai
Puliyotharai
Parippu
Ghee
Rice
Kadamba Sambar
Vendai Morkozhambu
Laddu
Idichu Pizhinja Payasam
Appalam
Nendran chips
Mysore Rasam
Ghetti Mor and
Pickles.

We had a snack of
Pineapple kesari
Mixture and
Coffee
just before Nalangu.

The evening reception was followed by a grand dinner with a big spread,

The menu was:
Poori
Kurma
Chana Masala
Veg. Pulao
Sweet Pachadi
Thayir Pachadi
Sambar Satham
Kothamalli satham
Appalam
Chips
White rice
Pineapple Rasam
Paal Payasam
Jehangir
Vatral Kuzhambu
Thayir Satham
Pickle and
Ice cream.


The day after the wedding, no breakfast was arranged. Instead there was a sumptuous brunch. This was supposed to be a Pathiya Sappadu, a light brunch, but in itself it was a very elaborate brunch.

The brunch had:
Manathakali Keerai Thayir Pachadi
Urulai Podimas
Chembu roast
Thakkali Poritha Kootu
Gulab jamun
Semiya Payasam
Parippu
Ghee
Rice
Milagu Kuzhambu
Jeera rasam
Appalam
Vadam
Ghetti mor and
Pickles.

The sadhya wound up with packed lunch for the groom’s party, which included,

Idli, Molagai podi
Thayir satham and
Puliyotharai and vadam.

Having described the menu for various occasions for the wedding, I have decided to post the recipes of some of the items served (some I have already posted earlier), in the immediate future.

The Wedding (III)

After the feast, after everyone has rested a little we make time for some fun and frolic: Nalangu. This involves no vedic hymns. It is basically an occasion for everyone to relax and show their talent in singing along with some playful activities between the bride and groom in which everyone participates. Nalangu is an occasion for relatives from both sides to mix and get acquainted. The nalangu normally lasts an hour or so. The ladies on both sides take turns in singing and teasing the bride and the groom. It also provides them an opportunity to exhibit their literary skills, music compositions skills and to humouruosly point out the shortfalls on either side in the conduct of the marriage etc. Both parties tease each other through the medium of music. In fact, some ladies specialise in composing such songs and train the youngsters to sing them. The bride is also required to sing a few songs during the festivities. In the olden days it was a practice to teach the girls a few songs, whether they had the aptitude for music or not. It is these occasions that used to enliven the marriages in the past.

The bride invites the groom for the function with a song, which used to be called Pathyam. In the olden days someone from the groom’s party would sing another song in acceptance of the invitation. The bride and groom then sit facing each other and all others sit around them. The bride then applies nalangu (a paste made of turmeric and kumkum} on the grooms feet, combs his hair and shows him the mirror. When he is satisfied with his looks, she breaks roasted papads over his head much to the amusement of one and all. The groom then does the same things to the bride. Relatives on both sides help the groom and the bride to avoid the papads falling on their heads. After this they start rolling a coconut between them, (first they roll a ball made of flowers and then a coconut made of brass and then a real coconut) to the accompaniment of songs from the gathering. Usually it is one song from the brides side followed by another song from the groom’s side. In the olden days, this time was also used by the groom’s party to criticise the wedding arrangements, etc., through songs, which would be aptly answered by the bride’s party and in retaliation they would find fault with groom’s party and so on.

At the end of it, groom and bride are made to test their strengh by wrenching the coconut from each other’s hand, etc. Both are given three chances. While the bride is allowed to hold the coconut with both her hands and groom is made to wrench it with one hand, the groom is allowed to hold the coconut with one hand and the bride is allowed to wrench with both hands.

These days, the evening is set apart for the reception and dinner. Many people arrange the reception the previous evening. In the olden days, there was another loukika function called Thozi Pongal in the evening, which was the time for the bride to visit her friends’ houses and bid them farewell. This ritual is only for the bride. Her uncle and all other friends and relatives usually accompanied the bride as she went to each of her friends’ houses (only to the front porch, where she would be received and an aarti done to her with a red solution made of turmeric and lime and this solution is poured on to the dhothi of the uncle). My mother says that when she was married, she was taken to her friends houses atop an elephant.

After the thozhi pongal there used to be one more swing-related function for both the bride and groom followed by some more vedic rituals and homam.The most important function of the evening was spotting the Arundhathi and Dhruva stars. The priest points the stars to the couple and the groom in turn points the star Arundhathi to the bride and askes her, “did you see the Arundhathi?” symbolizing his request to her to be as faithful and loving as Arundhathi and the bride points the Dhruva star to the groom and asks him “did you see Dhruva?” requesting him to be as devoted as Dhruva.

Aashirvadham which literally means blessings, follows. The priest chants hymns blessing the couple with a long and happy married life filled with lots of riches and children and throws colored rice (Akshathai) on them which is caught by the groom in his spread out upper cloth, called uthareeyam. Aarati is performed to ward off any evil eye cast on them. After this the akshathai is collected into a bowl and the bride and groom perform namaskarams to all the elders from both the families and take their blessings.

With the Aarati the auspicious rituals come to a close, much to the relief of the bride’s father, who is a “man reborn” by now.

Usually the groom’s party take leave the next morning. There is the custom of sending packed food with them, which is known as Kattusatham. This must have originated in the olden days, when people had to travel long distance by walk or bullock cart for long hours. The packed lunch was given so that they could rest in between and have some refreshments. One wonders why this practice should be kept alive in the current “jet age”.

The Wedding (II)

The wedding day has so many rituals packed in the morning and if the Muhurtham (solemnisation of the wedding) is very early, then the activities need to be started real early, sometimes at 3.30 am itself. Thankfully, for R’s wedding, the Muhurtham was not very early and having done the vratham etc. the previous day itself, the morning was quite relaxed. Normally the bridegroom’s party arrives at the bride’s house only in the afternoon of the previous day and therefore all the rituals are done on the marriage day only. These days both parties arrive at the Mantapam towards afternoon of the previous day, the event managers arrive in the morning and make the necessary arrangements. In the present wedding as already mentioned earlier both the parties had arrived at the Mantapam in the morning of the previous day and therefore had performed the Vratam.

The first ritual on the day of the wedding is Mangala Snanam for the bride and groom, for which, the toiletries like, bathing oil, soap, shampoo, shaving soap, brush, etc., need to be taken to the groom. After this, both the bride and groom get ready after the ritual bath.

At this point, the groom, suddenly decides to give up all the earthly pleasures to go to Kasi, in pursuit of spiritual knowldege. For this, he is attired in formal panchakacham and walks away with a walking stick, a handfan, an umbrella, a veda pustaka and some groceries for the journey. The uncle of the groom holds the umbrella for him. Usually, he walks upto the nearest temple, by which time, the bride’s father meets him and promises to give his daughter in marriage and requests him to give up the Kasi yatra. He is then ushered to the venue of the marriage where the bride is waiting with a garland in hand, ready to receive him at the front door. They both are supposed to meet for the first time. These days, they are made to sit together on the previous day itself / even at the engagement ceremony. Some parents make a vain attempt to avoid their sitting together before the wedding rituals are completed (there are instances where the receptions are postponed to the muhurtham day just to achieve this end); I am yet to meet a parent who has been successful in this attempt.

After this, the bride and groom exchange the garlands, helped by their respective uncles. This is the time for lots of fun and frolic, intended mainly to relieve the bride of the tension in entering a new phase of life with a stranger. (This was the custom in the olden days, these days the bride and groom meet and discuss about their compatibility and then take the decision).

The bride and groom sit in a swing and the ladies present sing songs. The swing represents the ups and downs of life. The bride and groom are given “milk and plantain” by elderly ladies. This has many explanations. The most important being that as the bride and groom are supposed to observe a fast on this important day until the solemnisation of the wedding, the milk and plantain are supposed to give them some nourishment. Another explanation is that, just like milk and plantain combines well without losing their respective identities, the groom and the bride also should be united in all their thinking and decisions, but at the same time maintain their identities.

This done, the evil eye is exorcised by coloured rice balls in red and yellow colors. The bride and the groom are then, taken to the vivaha Mantapam or the venue of the marriage.


After the initial vedic rituals, the bride is given away as dhana (offering) by the bride’s parents to the groom to the accompaniment of vedic chantings. The groom then offers the traditional dress to the bride. Meanwhile the Mangalya or the bridal necklace is passed around the congregation for their blessings. The bride wears the new 9 yards saree and sits on her father’s lap. The groom ties the Mangalya sewn in a yellow thread around the bride’s neck with a knot. The groom’s sister ties two more knots, symbolizing the harmony in the family.

Next is Panigrahanam, which is the actual “muhurtham” they say though for all practical purposes, Mangalaya dharanam is considered as the muhurtham.

This is followed by the Sapthapadhi, in which the groom and the bride take 7 steps together, symbolizing life long friendship and togetherness. The groom actually holds the right foot of the bride and helps her walk the 7 steps, at the same time holding her right hand. The 7 th step of the bride is placed on a stone (Ammi – which was used for grinding in the olden days and hence this ritual is also known as ammi mithikkal) and the groom tells her, “be firm as a rock in your decisions and also in your resolve in life.” The Sapthapadhi is the most important ritual of an Indian wedding.

The Sapthapadhi is followed by Udhwaha Homam and Laja Homam. If the groom’s sister ties the two knots of the Mangalyam, it is the bride’s brother who offers the laja (puffed rice) to the hands of the bride and groom, who then offers the rice to Agni, the Fire God.

More homams follow and the whole congregation blesses the couple along with the vedic pundits, and with the singing of Mangalam by elderly ladies the morning functions come to a finale.

Then follows the grand lunch, after which guests take a little nap before the evening functions.

The Wedding (I)

R’s wedding was a grand affair as always with South Indian weddings. The proceedings of the actual wedding ceremony started on the previous morning. (The preparations have started months in advance, in fact, as my husband says from the day R was born). In the olden days (when my parents and in-laws got married), the marriage functions lasted 4 days. As the years have gone by, owing to the constraints of time and space, the functions are now conducted over two days. The main reason is the unavailability of marriage halls and the high rents for them. There are halls charging rent up to Rs 1 lakh per day, the reasonable ones being about Rs. 30000 to 50000.

The marriage was to take place in a famous marriage hall with separate rooms for the bride’s and groom’s party and spacious hall for the ceremonies with an attached kitchen and dining hall. The entire hall and the rooms were air-conditioned.

Early in the morning by about 5.30 am the bride’s parents arrived with some immediate family members, to make sure that the hall was ready and the marriage contractor had made all arrangements. Preparations for the breakfast had begun. The bride and other members of the family arrived by 6.30 am followed by other guests. The bride was received with nadaswaram at the entrance of the hall.

The bridegroom’s party arrived by 7.30 am, they were received at the entrance by the parents of the bride and other elders with trays laden with fruits, coconuts, flowers, betel leaves and nuts, to the obligatory nadaswaram recital. Aarti of the groom was done by the prospective mother-in-law and the bridegroom was garlanded by the bride’s brother. The bride’s brother and bridegroom’s sister occupy special positions in Tamil Iyer marriages. The paternal aunts and the maternal uncles and their wives also have to play important roles.


The first ritual is Vigneswara Pooja, seeking the Blessings of the Lord for the successful accomplishment of the ceremony without impediment, followed by Punyaha Vachanam, followed by Pandakkal puja. This is sanctifying the pole of the tent to be raised in front of the hall (in the olden days, the marriages were conducted in large tents, put up in front of the house) for the smooth conclusion of the function.


Vratham follows which is a resolution taken by the parents of the bride and groom, separately, to conduct the marriage of their daughter/son with the blessings of the Almighty and the elders present. A “yellow thread” sanctified by vedic mantras is tied on the wrist of both the bride and groom by their respective fathers to symbolize the resolution, which is knows as Kangan dharan. There is a belief that after the kangan dharan, nothing can stop the marriage function. There is also a popular saying, “Kanganam kattindu erukkan,” to indicate how determined a person is about something.

If the jathaka karma and namakarana have not been performed for the girl as per vedic rites earlier in their lives, they are performed now.


There is a ritual of sowing nine varieties of seeds by 5 sumangalis in five small earthen bowls filled with soil which are watered for 3 days, by which time the seeds would have sprouted, which indicates good progeny for the family. The sprouts are then immersed in running water or a well.

Nandi was performed by the groom’s father, seeking the blessings of the ancestors for the smooth conduct of the ceremony.

This almost concluded the morning ceremonies.

All this time, the guests are busy catching up with friends and relatives and generally making a lot of noise.

One thing you observe in south Indian weddings is the rich brocaded silk sarees and elaborate jewellery worn by the women. One can see the latest designs both in sarees and jewellery there. One can also easily identify the immediate family members of the both the bride and groom by the richness of the sarees worn by the women. There is a practice of presenting the immediate family members with silk sarees/dhothies. In R’s wedding, the groom’s parents had selected sarees of the same pattern for the cousins of the groom. They had selected one combination for the daughters of the family and another combination for the daughter-in-law. They deserve to be complimented for the time and effort spent in planning and selecting the sarees and even clothes for the children in the family. On the wedding day, one could see even a one-year-old girl having the same color of silk pavadai, as her 5-year-old cousin. They need to be applauded for getting the blouse materials to all persons concerned well in time so that they could make and wear them for the wedding. These days, usually owing to the different tastes of the youngsters, we don’t see such uniformity in selection of the dresses.

Lunch followed. After a brief rest and relaxation, there was a program of Radha Kalyanam – a bhajan by a professional group. The acoustics of the hall was not at all supporting the bhajan and nobody could make out the words of the songs.


The evening programs started around 6.30 pm, with Janavasam and Nischayathartham. The groom is usually taken on a procession to the nearest temple. This was an elaborate function in the olden days when the groom was taken in a procession that included members from both parties around the village. In later years, in towns and by the rich, the groom was made to sit in an open car and taken around. Here he went up to the gate of the hall, where there is an idol of Lord Vigneswara. This was followed by the Nischayathartham, when both the parties once again reaffirmed their contract to get their daughter/son married to each other. Both the bride and groom are presented with gifts from the parents of each other. The bride was given a rich silk saree and some jewellery by the groom’s parents and the groom was presentd with a suit by the bride’s father.


Elaborate dinner followed and all the guests retired to their respective rooms.

Usually this is the time the bride’s party gets busy with making kolams or rangoli for the next day’s marriage and getting other things ready. These days, the marriage contractor takes care of everything including the kolams and flowers and garlands.

Chennai trip

We are back after our visit to Chennai. We had a very hectic but very enjoyable trip. The weather especially was very pleasant. Though we had an A/C room, we had to switch off the A/C at times.

The main purpose of the visit was attending the marriage of R, the daughter of a very close friend, K. As usual with all south Indian marriages, the marriage was a grand affair. We met many old friends and acquaintances after a very long time, some after about 35 years. But not many had difficulty in recognising us. We had met many people during the wedding of the parents of the bride. This made the function more special as this was the first in the series of marriages of the second generation, whose parents’ marriage also we had attended. We had a lot to catch up with people starting from the parents’ marriage.

This took me back to the trip we took to attend K’s wedding at Palani, the hill temple town in Tamil Nadu. We had to travel by bus as there was no direct train from Bangalore in that route those days(over 30 years ago). We had travelled with our one year old child and the bus tire burst twice on the way, leaving us stranded on the road for hours together on both occasions. With no hotels or coffee shops in sight, we had to walk some 2 kms to get some coffee and milk for our child. Finally, we reached Palani at 6.30 pm instead of 6.30am.

During this wedding, I also met P, the beautiful cousin of R, who was a 2 year old naughty child during K’s wedding. She is the mother of 2 little kids now and doesn’t look a day older than 20. I reminded her of the interesting incident that took place during K’s wedding. As I said earlier, our elder son was one year old then and somebody commented to this 2 year old, how smart the little boy was. It was too much of a blow to the ego of the 2 year old and she came running as if to hug the boy, but to our utter consternation bit his ear. I had a tough time consoling him.

At that time our younger child was already on his way and this made my astute and blessed mother-in-law to take vow that she would get the first mundan of the child to be born at Palani (What if he had turned out to be a she? – Ed). For various reasons, we couldn’t manage a trip to Palani for the next four years. Our younger son had long curly hair when he went to nursery school. Though most people trim the hair of the boys before the first mundan which has to be performed after the age of 2, strictly speaking no scissors should touch the hair before the vedic ritual of choulam (mundan). Hence we had not trimmed his hair at all until the ceremony. Once his teacher sent him home with a note, “Please cut your daughter’s hair”.

As usual, I have digressed from R’s wedding to her parents’ wedding. More about R’s wedding later.

During our Chennai trip, we also visited our 92 years old chithappa, my brother, my mother, my cousins, did some shopping at the famous Ranganathan street and Usman Road and visited our (handsome and charming) son’s India Office.

Time Out

I'm gone on a trip to Chennai for a few days. Posting resumes when I get back!

Recipe: Kanu Podi

Kanu Podi is a special powder for Kanu. The Ellu Sadham I was referring to earlier is prepared by mixing this powder with cooked rice. A few years ago, we had my paternal uncle and his family as guests on Kanu day. As usual, I had prepared kanupodi and ellu sadham. My chithappa (uncle) enjoyed the podi so much he said, “I am tasting such wonderful kanupodi for the first time since I left home”. He was then 65 years old and he must have left home after his studies when he was 15 or 16.

Ingredients:
Sesame seeds (Ellu) : 100gms (Black or white)
Jaggery :50 gms
Red chillies : 1 or 2
Salt to taste

Dry roast the sesame seeds in slow heat . The sesame seeds will splutter, so be careful to close it with a lid with a knob, but at the same time keep stirring the contents. I use a pan with a handle and lid and keep rotationg the pan holding it at the handle. Once the spluttering stops, remove from the stove and add the red chilli. The red chilli will get fried in the heat of the roasted sesame seeds. Crush the jaggery into small pieces.

Now comes most tricky task. Dry grind the sesame seeds, redchillies, salt and jaggery pieces ever so gently. Just grind for a second, open the jar, scrape the sides and grind again for a second. As soon as the contents are ground to a powder, immediately remove. This is the most delicious Kanu podi or ellu podi.

This tastes good with thayir sadham also.

If ground at a fast speed in a mixer, the sesame seeds will extrude oil and the result will be a messy mass. So be careful.

Recipe: Mixed Vegetable Rice

When any tamilian or kerala iyer hears about kalanda sadham it is usually the Puliyodarai/Lemon rice/Thengai sadham (coconut rice) that comes to mind. But when we were growing up, as I always say, these rice preparations were not popular in our rural Kerala village. Instead, we had Ulundu Sadham (Urad dal rice) and Ellu Sadham (sesame rice) and of course, Thayir sadham (curd rice), which for some reason was referred to as Thimiral. I wonder why. It was Keerai Masiyal for the side dish. Since all vegetables that we used came from the kitchen garden or from our farm, we used the keerai (spinach) from our backyard, which was the seasonal vegetable. So it was keerai masiyal on Kanu day.

When I started my own family I made a small change to the menu. In addition to the various mixed rice preparations, I invented a mixed vegetable sadham, as my husband and I could not imagine a meal without vegetables.

This rice is different from the usual fried rice or pulao or veg. biriyani in that no garam masala, whole or powdered, is used and it is only flavoured with the Kerala’s own coconut and green chillies and ginger.

This Kanu I again prepared mixed vegetable rice, puliyodarai and thayir sadham with home made vadam. Here is the recipe for the mixed vegetable rice.



Ingredients:

Carrots: 100gm
French beans: 100 gm
Green Peas : 100gm
Capsicum (green bell peppers): 50 gm
Cauliflower: 100gm

Rice: 1 cup

Grated coconut : ½ cup
Green chillies : 2 or more according to taste
Ginger : ½" piece
Salt to taste
Cooking oil : 1 tbsp. + 1tsp
Hing (asafoetida) powder : ½ tsp.
Mustard : 1 tsp
Urad dal : 1 tsp
Bengal gram dal: 1tsp
Ground nuts: 1 tbsp.
Curry leaves: 1 sprig
Coriander leaves: 1 tbsp.

Method:

Pressure cook the rice with 1tsp of oil, so that the rice grains don't stick to each other. Spread the cooked rice on a plate to cool, so that it doesn't get mashed up while mixing.

Grind the coconut with green chilles and ginger coarsely without adding water.


Cut the all vegetables into small cubes, about 1 cm long. Cook the vegetables, except the capsicum, retaining the crispiness (don’t over cook) and strain the water out. Heat the oil in a pan. Add the hing powder and mustard seeds. When the mustard seeds start spluttering, add the urad dal, bengal gram dal and grounds nuts. When the nuts and dal turn light brown, add the curry leaves and capsicum pieces. Saute for a few minutes, until they are cooked. Add all the other cooked vegetables and salt. Saute for few more minutes. Now add the ground coconut mixture. Mix well. Remove from the stove. Add the cooled rice and mix well, until the rice and vegetables are mixed well. Garnish with finely cut coriander leaves.

ENJOY THE COLOURFUL MIXED VEGETABLE RICE.

P.S. I don’t add turmeric powder in this rice, as I feel it spoils the colour coordination of the otherwise colorful rice. Being a die hard Keralite, I use coconut oil for this rice, as it imparts a special flavour to the dish. In the olden days, in rural Kerala the Iyer families did not use onions. Even today it is so on festival days. Onion may be added while sauteing, to improve the taste.

Kanum Pongal/Mattu Pongal/Kanu

I hope everybody had a very enjoyable Pongal. We celebrated Pongal in our own simple but traditional style. There was Sankramana Tharpana to be performed for the Pithrus. Sarkkarai Pongal and Venpongal were prepared and offered to the Sun God. We had a breakfast of Sarkkarai Pongal and Venpongal with coconut chutney. Lunch was Avarakkai Pulinkari and carrot and beans thoran.

I wanted to sit and write about Kanu or Kanum Pongal and its special dishes before the Kanu day, post Pongal lunch. But then we had a steady stream of visitors, distributing ellu bella (a custom in Karnataka, offering sesame seeds and jaggery to all friends, to say, let your words be always sweet). I had to entertain them. By then I had also prepared some Medhu Vadai. Then my brothers and their families arrived. With three little kids, all under 6 demanding different things at the same time, I was out of breath by the time I could satisfy all of them and also attending to my guests. I offered them Sarkkarai Pongal and Medhu vadai (I had actually prepared very few, and I had to cut them into bits to distribute among all. My brother was saying, distribute one small piece to each, like kovil ammanji’s appam). More about Kovil ammanji later.

But enough rambling. Coming back to Kanu, the day after Pongal is observed as Mattu Pongal or Kanum Pongal or just Kanu. On this day the cattle are given an oil bath and decorated with flower garlands and kumkum and given sweets to eat. In Tamil Nadu there are cattle races and bull fights (Jalli kattu) on this day. Hence the day is known as Mattu Pongal.

It is also known as Kanu and is a special day for girls and ladies. On this day, early in the morning, the eldest lady in the house applies raw turmeric paste on the faces of all the younger women and girls. After this oil is applied to their hair. Then all the girls and ladies offer rice balls (small lemon sized balls) topped with pieces of turmeric, coconut and jaggery to the crows. As usual, it was our athai, who would lead us in this, and when we offered this to the crows, we sang, “Kakka podi vechen, Kanu podi vechen, kakkaikkum mattukkum kalyanam,” which could be roughly translated as, “I offer, Kakka podi and Kanu podi, it is the marriage of the crow and the cow.” Does sound really idiotic, when I think of it now. Perhaps, the words had to be different, I don’t know. But this is what we said.

After this, our athai would lead us to the stream nearby and give us an oil bath. Back home, we would all dress in new clothes and lots of flowers in our hair and would go visiting friends.

On this day, the menu would be different from the usual, sambar, kootu or thoran. We had, what was generally known as “kalanda Sadham” or mixed rice with pappads or vattals. Of course there was the “Kanu Podi”.