Recipe: Boondi Laddu

Happy Diwali to all!

I am writing a full post after a very long time; I just couldn't keep away from publishing a new post during Diwali season. Though I am still not able to prepare any fancy sweets this Diwali, I am posting the recipes of the goodies I prepared in the previous years and have not posted.

Boondi Laddu is a melt-in-the-mouth delicacy, prepared all over India in different ways (Unity in Diversity), the main difference being the size of the boondi or globules. The very first time I sent these laddus to my younger son in the US, he said it was a big hit with his American colleagues. They came again and again for these "sugary globules pressed into a ball" and went ga ga over it.

 In the northern part of the country it is popularly known as motichoor laddu as the boondis they prepare are the size of small pearls, hence the name motichoor, moti meaning pearl in hindi.

In the South the boondis are slightly bigger. Laddus are a must in South Indian weddings and all other major functions like Upanayanam, Choulam, and the first birthday of the baby.

Laddus would not be prepared at home until a few years back; we had them only during marriages or upanayanams when we had cooks to come and prepare them. I started preparing them only when we were on our own and did not get the homemade laddus. I remember the first time we prepared these at home was in 1977. My brother was visiting us and I wanted to surprise my parents by sending homemade laddus to them. I do not know their reaction as we did not have instant communication those days like we have today.

Preparing the boondis is the most difficult part of making laddus. Once this has been mastered, the rest is not very difficult. I wish I could post a video of boondi making, later perhaps. One has to use a special ladle, a boondi jarni (a flat spoon with holes), which has an upturned rim so that the batter will not spill from the outer rim.

To the recipe now,

Ingredients:

Bengal gram flour       : 1 cup
(Besan/Kadalamavu/
Kadalehittu)
Sugar                           : 3 cups
Oil                               : for deep frying
Food color (orange)     : a few drops

To garnish

Ghee                            : 4 tbsp
Cloves                          : a few
Pachakarpooram         : one pinch
Saffron (optional)         : a few strands
Cardamom  powder     : 2 tsps
Raisins                          : 2 tbsp
Cashew nuts (broken)  : 2tbsp
Nutmeg powder           : 1/2 tsp
Diamond shaped sugar candy: 2 tbsp
(kalkandu)


Method:

Boil the sugar with 2 cups of water. Remove the impurities by adding a little milk. Make a one string consistency sugar syrup and remove from stove. Add the saffron soaked in a little milk and a few drops of orange food color. Add the cardamom powder, nutmeg powder, pachakarpooram, kalkandu and crushed cloves.

Make a batter of pouring consistency by adding water to the besan.Whisk well so that there are no lumps. Heat oil in a wide mouthed pan (Some people use ghee to fry the boondis, but I prefer oil as the ghee solidifies to a sticky texture when it cools). When the oil is heated, hold the ladle (jarni) above the heated oil and pour one big spoonful of batter into the ladle. The batter will drop into the oil as little globules. Fry till they are cooked. They should not become crisp or they will not absorb the sugar. Remove and put in the sugar syrup. Repeat till all the batter is used up.

Heat the ghee in a small pan and fry the raisins and broken cashew nuts to a golden color. Pour over the boondis soaking in sugar syrup. Mix well. Make into balls of desired size.

Enjoy your Diwali with laddus!

On Cloud nine (pun definitely intended)

One of the problems I faced towards the end of 2011 was my inability to use my computer to my full satisfaction; my Mac Mini crashed. Our elder son, who is a doctor (but knows a lot about computers technically) reported to his younger brother (the software engineer) who is in the USA. In typical NRI style he said, "the computer is very old, throw it and buy a new one". Doctor that he is, whose mission it is to revive everyone or thing, whatever condition they or it may be in, going to any extent, our elder son tried his best to revive the computer in the two days that he had before he went back. He was not able to install all the software, yet he managed to make it functional enough for my basic needs. My younger one gave me an ipad recently, which I use for mail, chatting and browsing the net. Yet I feel comfortable writing my blog on my desktop computer. However, in its revived avatar, it wouldn't perform many of the functions the way it used to; it felt different. We could not install iPhoto, which meant I could not download photos from my camera and upload to my photo album online. Each time I encountered a problem with the computer, our elder son would give me directions as to what to do over long distance phone and I would execute it; but the one thing which never happened was uploading photos from my desktop to the site. I did everything that our son said, but the computer would not obey my command. The never say die attitude in me made me sit at the computer every day, and  finally, I was able to upload photo from my computer this morning.

Yay!

Karthikai

Tomorrow is Karthikai Deepam festival or rather we have decided to celebrate the festival tomorrow. I say this because most Hindu festivals are not celebrated on a fixed date either by the Hindu calendar or the English calendar. They are observed on a particular star or a thithi according to lunar calendar. Some festivals like Karthikai and Thiruvathirai are celebrated on the day that a particular star coincides with a full moon. Usually in the month of Karthikai (the Tamil month) or Vrischikam (Nov - Dec) in Malayalam, the star Karthikai falls on a full moon day. That is when the Karthikai Deepam festival is celebrated. More often there is a variation in this pattern like the full moon day falls on a day after the star Karthikai and then there are deliberations as to when to observe the festival, on the Karthikai star or on full moon day. And most people settle for a day according to what their priest says. Similarly this year, the Karthikai star rises at 3 pm on 8th December and Poornima starts in the evening of 9th December. So there are deliberations as to when to celebrate the festival. The famous Annamalai Deepam in the temple town of Thiruvannamalai dedicated to Lord Shiva is being celebrated this year on 8th December. But my mother tells me the priest in our village has said Karthikai is to be celebrated on 9th December. Some people are celebraing the fesival on the 10th as well.

As such there is always a difference in the days on which Iyers and Iyengars celebrate the various festivals. One sect gives importance to the star and the other sect gives importance to the thithi. All said and done festivals are celebrated to pray for peace and happiness all around; so a festival celebrated on any day is for the well being of mankind and it doesn't matter when one celebrates as long as the spirit of harmony and well being is maintained.

In our house, Karthikai has special importance and is always celebrated in a grand style. Our elder son always makes it a point to come home during Karthikai festival. He likes to light lots of lamps around the house. Karthikai is also important because my youngest brother was born on Karthikai day and his birthday is celebrated on Karthikai day. My husband was born the day after Karthikai, though his birth star is Mrigaseersham, which again goes to say that particular year, Karthikai was celebrated on Rohini star. We, including our sons, can visualise the day so clearly though none of us were born then, as it has been told to us on each Karthikai day by my mother-in-law. Happy birthday hubby dear and happy birthday my dear brother!

Make neyvedyams of Pori, Appam and Adai and light lots of lamps to remove the darkness and bring in light of prosperity and love all around.

Happy Karthikai

Holiday

I am still not able to get over my hangover from the month long holiday and Diwali celebrations that we had. Yes, we had a great Diwali this year with both our handsome and charming sons, daughter in law and our ever so adorable and perfect grandson with us. We had lots and lots of fun and loads and loads of good food.
We had paruppu pradhaman, kozhukkattai, elai adai, sevai, puran poli, vadai, neyyapam, morappam, malabar paratha, stuffed parathas of various types, varieties of pulav, pathrode, cakes, semiya payasam, pal adai pradhaman, jangiri (jahangir), badusha, boondi laddu, mullumurukku, omapodi, ribbon pakoda, mixture, and samosas, to name a few.

Our sons, daughter in law and grandson arrived in Bangalore by navarathri end. We had a grand saraswathi pooja and vijayadasami followed by happy times in the company of our little bundle of joy. We had a great time like never before. In between we managed a trip to Puthucode and Guruvayoor.

Diwali was grand with boondi laddu, badusha, ribbon pakora and mixture. We bought crackers for diwali, something we had not done for 25 years. Our grand son thoroughly enjoyed the sparklers and flower pots and the chakras. He even enjoyed the exploding crackers that the neighbors set off.

We also celebrated the little one's first birthday, actually twice. First, according to Hindu calendar on his star birthday with Ayushya homam. We also did the jathakaranam, namakaranam and annaprasanam and we also had the varadhanam.

We had a cake cutting celebration followed by a lunch with our friends and extended family on his date of birth. The little one thoroughly enjoyed all the attention he received. We also enjoyed every moment we spent with him. He is such a wonderful kid, always cheerful and full of energy.
.

Our son, daughter-in-law and grandson have since returned to US and our elder son is spending the last few days of his leave with us. I am reminded of the times we used to leave our parental home enmasse after family get-togethers for various functions. Distinct is the memory of the day all us, including the newly married couple, left Puthucode after our youngest brother's marriage leaving only our parents behind at Puthucode. The party also included some family friends who had come to attend the wedding from Bangalore. One of them said, "Next time onwards please book your return tickets on different days so that your parents will not be left alone all of a sudden". I am also reminded of the proverb my dear mother in law used to repeat at various occasions,"alandalanda nazhi ozhinjozhinju varum" which when translated means, history repeats itself. One understands the implications of the various actions we undertake because of our various commitments only when one is at the receiving end. When one is busy with the family, one has no time to think of the effects of our routine actions.

Cheedai

Cheedais are unique to Tamil Nadu and Kerala and are synonymous with Gokulashtami (Ashtami Rohini/ Sree Krishna Jayanthi). These crunchy, yummy marble sized balls are liked by young and old and are very easy to prepare. Having said that, I must caution that things could go wrong even for an experienced cheedai maker. Instead of the crunchy crispies, one might end up with soft, chewy cheedais. Another thing that could go wrong in cheedai making is that the cheedais might explode when dropped into hot oil which can be quite hazardous. First time cheedai makers should make sure that little children are out of range and preferably, there is another adult present at home.

I have had a very bad experience while making cheedais. The very first time I made cheedais on my own was when both our children were under 3 years of age. Hubby dear was out of town on work and on Gokulashtami day, I decided to make cheedais  for our unnikrishnans (little krishnans - our babies). Those were not the days of internet - no google search for cheedai recipes. We did not even have a telephone to call home and ask for recipes, like our younger son does these days. But we had very friendly neighbours who were ever ready to lend a helping hand. Since I was the youngest occupant in the building, Komala mami and Lakshmi mami were always giving me tips on running the household. So, memorizing the recipe given by them, I ventured to make cheedais on my own. Our elder son, all of 2-1/2 years of age, was ever ready to help me. Our younger son was tied to his post, or else he too would crawl and come to help me. So, whenever I had  some work I did not want the baby to crawl into, I would tie a long string to his aranjan (this is a black cord tied to the waist of the babies on the 28th day) and tie the other end to the window grill, so that he would be free to move around the room, but not crawl into the kitchen or bathroom. His anna (elder brother) would keep him company.

Cheedais were made and were ready to be deep fried. Having warned our elder son not to come into the kitchen to help me, I started putting the cheedais into the hot oil. Within seconds they started exploding spraying hot oil all around. Our elder son, the all time joker those days, came running to see crackers bursting in the kitchen and also called out to his brother saying, "Nandu, come and see, amma is bursting crackers inside the kitchen". I had the presence of mind to switch off the stove and to send our son with an SOS to call Komala mami and Lakshmi mami. He wouldn't budge as the crackers were still bursting. I said, "Go tell mamis that mummy has crackers inside the kitchen". He immediately ran upstairs and brought the mamis, who said not to worry and to abort the cheedai making. "Make dosas with the dough", they said.

I have been making cheedais every year since then and they have never exploded. I was surprised when my sister-in-law said her cheedais exploded this year, as she is an expert in making these deep fried goodies. This was one of the reasons I did not post cheedai recipe earlier, because I did not want our over enthusiastic younger son to try making cheedais with a little baby around.

There are 2 types of cheedais, savoury and sweet. We will have the recipe for savoury cheedais first.

Over to the recipe.

Ingredients:

Rice flour  : 1 cup
Urad dal powder : 2 tsp
Grated coconut: 2 tbsp
Butter: 2 tsp
Hing powder: 1/4 tsp
Jeera: 1/2 tsp
Black pepper: 1 tsp
Curry leaves: a few
Salt to taste
Oil to deep fry

Method:

Most of the crunchy snacks in Tamil Nadu and Kerala have Urad dal powder as the main ingredient, which gives the dish the crunchiness, if used in the right proportion.

Dry roast 1 cup of urad dal to a light pink color at which time a nice aroma will arise out of it. Cool and powder it in an absolutely dry grinder. Seive this powder twice to make sure that the powder is absolutely fine without any grains (Presence of grains in the powder is one of the causes of exploding cheedais). This powder can be stored in an air tight container for up to a year and used when ever necessary.

Seive the rice flour twice again to make sure there are no grains in the flour. Dry roast the rice flour in low heat for 5 minutes.

Dry grind the coconut, jeera, pepper, curry leaves, hing and salt to a coarse consistency. Mix the rice flour and urad dal powder well. Rub in the butter. Add the ground coconut mixture and knead to a soft dough adding water if necessary. The ground coconut mixture will add some greasiness to the dough, so add water very carefully. Make marble sized balls of the dough.

Once all the dough is shaped into balls, heat oil in a wide kadai. When the oil starts smoking, reduce the heat and put a handful of the balls into the hot oil. Keep away from the stove and watch for any explosion. Increase the heat after 2 minutes and when the balls turn light brown in color, remove from oil. Repeat until all the balls are fried.

To test the cheedais, press one cheedai in your palm. If the cheedai breaks softly and the inside is fried, it is done. It will turn crunchy when cold. Store in air tight tins.

Have a safe cheedai making session!

Recipe: Sweet Ammini Kozhukkattai (Kathavarayan Kozhukkattai)

These days, whenever our younger son calls, the first thing we ask is, "what is the baby doing?" The expected answer to this question is what the baby's progress is according to its age. This was a colloquial usage in our village. These days however, when we ask this question, the usual answer is, he is crying or sleeping or eating etc. My son knows to answer this question now and he says, he has started crawling, today he sat on his own, etc. I was always asking him, "has he crossed the threshold yet?" and the answer was "yes" one day. "We do kozhukkattai shower when the baby crosses the threshold", I said. "What is it?", he asked.

In the village houses where we grew up, there would be a small step between rooms. In some places like the front or back porch, there would be several steps. When the baby starts moving on its belly, at some stage it would cross this threshold between rooms. At this stage, sweet ammini kozhukkattais are prepared and offered to Kathavarayan Swamy and then a mixture of these kozhukkattais and small coins are showered on the baby's head as he crosses the threshold. The neighbouring children are invited and they scramble for the kozhukkattais and the coins. This is an offering to Kathavarayan Swamy (literally protector God) so he would protect the baby from any fall from the steps when he is growing up. In our house, Kathavarayan Kozhukkatai was also offered to the Lord, when the baby recovers from measles or other such illness.

Kathavarayan kozhukkattai or simply, sweet ammini kozhukkattais, are small kozhukkattais made with rice flour and jaggery, and is the right sweet for the calorie conscious. No fat, no deep frying, just a steamed healthy delicacy.

I told my son how to prepare them and he in turn had a kozhukkattai shower for the baby. I prepared the kozhukkattais and offered them to Kathavarayan Swamy, here in India.

Over to the recipe. The pictures are by my son.

I have made a small change to the original recipe followed by my mother (She is sure to ask me, "who taught you to roast the rice flour?") In the traditional recipe raw rice flour is used; I thought roasting the rice flour lightly would give a better texture to the dish.

Ingredients:

Rice flour : 1 cup
Jaggery : 3/4 cup
Coconut pieces : 2 tsp.
Cardamom powder : 1 tsp.
Salt : a pinch

Method:

Roast the rice flour lightly. The color should not change. Melt the jaggery in 2 cups of water and strain. Boil the strained jaggery syrup. Add the coconut pieces, cardamom powder and salt. When the syrup starts to boil, add the roasted rice flour and cook until all the liquid evaporates. Cool, make into marble sized balls and steam for 10-15 minutes in a steamer. Sweet ammini kozhukkattai is ready.

nJOY!

Mambazha Pulisserry ( Sweet and Sour Mango Gravy)

This sweet and sour and mildly spicy curd based ripe mango gravy enriched with coconut paste is a unique Kerala dish, which is an all time favourite of all Keralites. Especially so in our family, where during the months of April, May and June this dish is prepared so very often and yet we never get tired of eating this mouth watering delicacy. In our family, we add a pinch of jaggery to almost all dishes. Thus a sweet dish is always savoured with great enthusiasm. (Our family is known as a Pulacode family, though we hail from Puthucode. Our grandfather's parents migrated to Puthucode from a village by name Pulacode, along with some cousins and hence the name. All Pulacodians like their everyday curries sweetened with little jaggery). Sometime ago our younger son visited a cousin of ours whose family had stayed back in Pulacode during the above said migration. When our son came back, my astute and blessed m-i-l, as was her practice, asked her grandson, "So what did Ammini Athai serve you for lunch?"

"Mambazha Pulissery", he answered and corrected, "no no, Mambazha Payasam"

Then the two had a hearty laugh.

Such is the affinity of Pulacodians towards sweet.

Not only Keralites, but everyone who has tasted my mambazha pulissery has admired the dish. Recently a young Kannadiga girl who tasted the dish said, "this is an all in one dish, it has all the flavours".

Coming to the recipe, this Pulisserry can be prepared with any type of mango, but the small sized mango, which is known as "Adakka manga"(Areca nut mangoes, so called because of their small size) is the right choice for this. During wedding feasts, hundreds of these ripe mangoes are boiled in huge urulis the previous night itself so that they would cool down by morning to be peeled and squeezed. I also pressure cook the mangoes the previous night last thing before going to bed, so that they would be easier to peel in the morning. Finishing part of the cooking the previous night is a system we adopted when I was working and we had to have the lunch and breakfast ready by 8 am in the morning. There were no breakfast cereals back then. Even today, I cook a full fledged breakfast, lunch and dinner every day.

Back to the recipe:

Ingredients:

Ripe mangoes(big): 4
or
Small mangoes : 10
Grated coconut : 1½ cups
Green chillies : 4 or 5
Mildly sour thick curds : 2 cups
Jaggery(optional) : 1 tbsp

Turmeric powder : 1tsp.
Salt :to taste
Curry leaves : 1 sprig
Oil : 1 tbsp.
Mustard seeds: 2tsp.
Fenugreek seeds : 1/tsp
Red chillies : 2 nos.


Method:

Wash and cut the stem off the mangoes. Make a slit on either side of the mangoes, if you are using big mangoes. Pressure cook the mangoes in 2 cups of water. You can also microwave high for 7 minutes. Allow to cool. Peel the skin off. Squeeze the flesh off the mangoes. Keep the seeds. Use the water in which the mangoes were boiled to squeeze any flesh off the skin of the mangoes. Mix the mango pulp with a spoon to make a homogeneous mixture. Add the seeds to the mixture.

Beat the curds to a uniform consistency.

Grind the coconut with green chillies using a spoon of beaten curds to a thick consistency; not very smooth.

Boil the mango pulp for 5 minutes, stirring well. Add turmeric powder, salt and jaggery. Mix the ground coconut with the remaining beaten curds and add to the boiling mango pulp. Allow to boil once and remove from the stove. Garnish with curry leaves.

Heat the oil in pan. Add the mustard seeds. When the mustard seeds start spluttering, add the fenugreek seeds, broken red chillies and curry leaves.
When the red chillies start changing color, remove from the stove and pour over the prepared pulissery.

njoy!

Mambazha pulissery tastes great with rice, dosa, idli, kozhukkattai or chapati.

Recipe: Coffee Mocha Cake

Ugadi day also happened to be very important for us this year, as our handsome and charming son's birthday fell on the same day. As I have already said, we celebrate our children's birthdays twice every year, one by the Indian calendar (the star birthday) and the other by the western calendar. The Indian calendar birthday falls on a different date every year and it coincides with the actual date of birth every 19 years.

We had already celebrated the star birthday this year with Rice and dal pradhaman and 4th April was the actual date of birth. I usually bake a cake for my children's birthday and I was wondering what cake to bake. That is when my younger son suggested the Coffee Mocha cake as they had baked the cake for the monthly date of birth of my adorable and perfect grandson.

The original recipe is here. As I was baking an eggless cake and also because some of the ingredients are commercially not available here, I made some changes in the orginal recipe. The result, however, was awesome according to the tasters.

The recipe calls for sour cream and confectioner's sugar, both of which are not available here. Hence instead of confectioners sugar, I used home made powdered sugar and added 1 tsp. of corn flour to it.

I had a problem with sour cream. My son suggested I use buttermilk. However, I was not happy with the option because I thought buttermilk would be too thin. After scouring the web, I decided on making my own sour cream. I beat in 1 tbsp. of butter into 1 cup of fresh curds. I feel it would taste as good without beating in the butter. Just use plain fresh curds.

Let's get into the actual preparation of the cake.

Ingredients:

For the cake:

Maida or refined flour: 2 cups (approximately 250 gms)
Sweetened condensed milk: 300ml.
Butter: 10 tbsp ( approximately 350 gms)+1 tbsp.(for sour cream)
curds : 1 cup
baking powder: 1tsp.
baking soda: ½ tsp
salt: ¼ tsp
vanilla essence: 2 tsp.
Chocolate chips: 2 tbsp.
Instant coffee: 2 tbsp.

For the Glaze:

Instant coffee: 1½ tsp
Strong coffee decoction: 2-3 tbsp.
powdered sugar: 3/4 cup

Method:

Sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt twice.

Melt the chocolate chips in 2 tbsp. of warm water. Mix the instant coffee with 2 tbsp. of warm water.

Beat 1 tbsp. of butter with the curds until well combine (to make sour cream ).

Beat the remaining butter and condensed milk until well combined. Add vanilla essence and beat well. Add the flour mixture alternating with the sour cream, beginning and ending with flour mixture and fold in lightly. Divide the mixture into 3 parts.

Add the chocolate mixture to the first part and stir well.

Add the coffee mixture to the second part and stir well.

Keep the third part as such.

Grease and dust an 8" square pan. Pour one half of the first part on to the greased tin followed by one half of the 3rd part and one half of the 2nd part. Repeat.

Preheat the oven to 350 deg. F. Bake at the centre of the oven until the cake turns golden brown(approximately 50 minutes) or until a skewer inserted comes clean.

Remove and cool in the pan for 30 minutes. Invert onto a wire rack and cool completely.

Glaze:

Stir together the instant coffee and strong coffee decoction until the coffee powder is well dissolved. Add the powdered sugar and stir until well combined. Pour glaze over the cake and allow to settle.

njoy!

Kai veesamma

My handsome and charming son, who is the proud father of my adorable and perfect grandchild, who is just 4 months old, asks me, "Amma, how did you teach Anna to speak before he was 1 yr old?". While our elder son started speaking even before he was 1 year old and started speaking fluently by the time he was 18 months of age, our younger son started speaking only after he was 2 years of age (My parents have told me that I started speaking before I was 1 year old while my astute and blessed m-i-l has told me that my husband started speaking only after he was 3 years of age). Our elder son even started reciting stories when he was just 2 years old and he could read before he was 3 (How this put us into a big predicament, I shall get to at the end of this post).

I told my son, "we speak to children from the day they are born." But it beats logic that one child in the family starts speaking before 1 year of age and another sibling starts only after 2 years. Anyway, as I have often said, there were so many visitors at home on a day to day basis and when there was a small baby, they spent some time talking to the baby. And there were always people surrounding the baby. They found a meaning in what ever the baby did and responded with, "Oh, where are you looking?", "what is it that you want?", "why are you crying?", "are you looking for amma?", and on and on. And then as the baby grew up they made him wave his hands and sang to him,

Kai Veesamma, Kai veesu (wave your hands, baby wave)
Kadaikku pokalam kaiveesu (we will go shopping, wave your hands)
Mittai vangalam kai veesu (we will buy toffees, wave your hands)

I forget the rest of the song.

They made the baby clap hands, chanting

Krishna Rama Govinda
Rama Krishna Govinda
Venkata Krishna Govinda
Kalla Krishna Govinda
Govinda Govinda

And when the baby started making fists, the song went like this,

Kuppi, Kuppi,
Chandukuppi, Chandanakuppi,
Tharumayya, Tharum

(Chandu was the paste used to adorn the forehead of children. When we were young, there were no sticker bindis, we used home made bindi paste, known as chandu, only black. Later we started getting chandu  in black and red colors in bottles (kuppis). The chandu pottu was applied on the forehead of the baby to ward off the evil eye)

Listening to continuous blabbering made them pick up words early, perhaps. It also was an exercise for the baby to move his hands and legs.

My Kalathappa (paternal grandfather) had his own gibberish vocabulary to play with his grandchildren and he enjoyed every minute he could get to spent with the babies. He would ask the baby to be put near him when he had breakfast or lunch. When he was relaxing in his easy chair, he would have the baby on his lap. One could hear his gibberish from half a kilometer away. He would come all the way from our farm, about 3 kilometers away in the hot sun so that he could spend some time with his grandchildren.

I spent all my time in my maternal home or my in-laws' until our older son was 1 year old. This meant he was always surrounded by a host of uncles and aunts and cousins all the time. In my husband's home, our child was the first son after my husband and my in-laws and other aunts (my small mothers-in-law, as one of my friends used to say) would not move away from the baby even for a second. They were always talking to him. Perhaps that was the reason why he started speaking before he was 1 year old.  When our younger son was born, I came to Bangalore even when he was just 3 months old and he was not lucky to have so many people pampering him all the time.

As I said earlier in the post, our elder son started reading even before he was 3 years of age. So, when he was 3 years old we put him in a kindergarten school. They taught the kids to write the English alphabet and numbers 1-10 in the first 6 months. They had also issued a Hindi book with the alphabet. So when he came home, I started teaching him the Hindi alphabet and numbers 1 - 100 and some simple addition. At the end of 6 months, his teacher said she could not keep him in the class as he had learnt everything that was to be taught for the next 6 months also, and he was promoted to what then was known as Upper KG. Having finished his lower and upper KG in one year, there was no class he could go to the next year. As he was only 4, they would not give him admission in 1st standard. We had to run around many schools, before we could get him admitted to a pre- primary class, the next year. So, my advice,"take it easy!"

Long Long Vacation (Hibernation)

Well, it has been a long time since my last post and have I been busy! Nothing special, just the usual - a bit of travel, a lot of knitting and sewing and cooking and visiting, along with my already busy routine work. Many a time I almost started my post and couldn't.

Sometime back my sister-in-law asked me, "Why haven't I seen any new posts, Akka?"  "Ever since R was born I have been busy," I replied. She had a hearty laugh and said, "But they are in the US and you are in India." "I am simulating having a new born baby at home," I said. Jokes apart, until few years ago it indeed was a busy time to have a new born baby at Indian homes. It is not very different in these days except that most women prefer to stay back at their homes and ask their mother or mother-in-law to go ever and help them.

Then, the whole house would be bursting with activity with so many people to help around. Activities begin from the time the news arrives that the daughter is pregnant. Discussions are held as to who should be asked to come and stay for those few months when the baby is born and the new born and mother are confined (the delivery is known as confinement in most places). There are always aunts or grandmothers who are free to come and spend a few months to be of help in the family. When the daughter is brought home during her 6th or 8th month of pregnancy, every care is taken to see that she is comfortable and eats well and exercises lightly. (Expectant mothers of today have no such luxuries, what with having to work almost until the date of delivery so that they could have all the leave available after the baby arrives). The maid is given special instructions to make herself available at all times.

"How will I contact you if my daughter goes into labour late in the night?"  my mother asked our maid  one evening, when I was expecting my baby at my maternal home. I burst out laughing and my mother said, "why are you laughing?" I said, "if I go into labour you should be calling the midwife and not the maid." "Don't worry about what she says Amma, what does she know. You just come to your backyard and shout my name, I will come," said the maid. She lived about a kilometre away and we could see her house from our backyard across paddy fields and a canal. Sure enough the maid was the first one to be informed as the lady went into labour. She is the one who would make all arrangements for the lady's comfortable delivery and keep things ready for the midwife and take over from the midwife after the baby arrives. She would sit with the new mother and baby and give them all the nursing care and also take care of bathing the baby and the mother . The aunt who had arrived for help would be coordinating between the new mother and the main household and taking care of the food and medicines of the new mother and the baby. The house would be in a perpetual state of activity like buying the herbs for the medicines and preparing the medicines as per tradition and boiling the bathing water for the new mother with herbs and preparing the massage oil, etc. And of course there were festivities when the baby arrived. On the 7th day the paternal aunt and grandparents would arrive with bangles and anklets for the newborn baby. This function is known as Kappu. Naming ceremony on the 11th day follows if the father of the baby is present. The baby is put in the cradle for the first time on the 28th day. The festivities would go on and on.

I was reminiscing on all these when my own adorable and perfect grandchild arrived though he was halfway across the globe. And yet my handsome and charming son made sure that we did not miss out on any excitement by calling us each minute and giving us the status report from the very minute the gynecologist advised my daughter-in-law to get admitted in the hospital for delivery. He even made me listen to the  first cry of the baby. Our days were spent here in India wondering if the baby slept well, fed well, how the new mother was, how were they managing, etc. So every evening and morning we would be sitting in front of our PC chatting with our son and asking questions about the happenings there and he in turn would patiently answer all our queries. Though it is not a tradition there, my son's mother-in-law graciously agreed to come and spend one month with them to be of help to them with the new baby.

As I said, the first few months after the baby arrives are very busy and critical especially in the case of the first baby as the mother is not experienced in taking care of the baby. This is especially true in the nuclear family set up, as the children do not get to see other babies growing up. Whereas in the olden days, there were always some little children in all the families and also in the neighborhood. And like I said, there was always help available to take care of all the needs. The first thing my mother asked me after my grandchild was born was, "who is giving bath to the baby?". It was a big question. I asked the same question to my son even before the baby was born. "We will take care ma," he said. Though my mother has 7 children and more than a dozen grandchildren and great grandchildren my mother does not know to give bath to a baby. We always had a maid to do that. My son sent me a movie of him bathing his son.

Today's youngsters are very very accomplished I should say. My daughter-in-law is managing the baby and home all alone and has no complaints. My son is able to manage his busy schedule at workplace and come home and take care of the new born baby and other requirements and also keeps us informed of all the happenings there on a day to day basis.

We all wish them a healthy and happy and long life.

Mysorepak

How this ever popular sweet got its name has been a mystery for me always and to this day I have no clue about the origins of the name. Mysorepak has been a very popular sweet for the Kalyana cheeru (sweets given during marriage) for more than 6 or 7 decades among Kerala Iyers. When my chithappas were married, each mysorepak that came with cheeru was almost  4"x2"x2"  in size. So huge; of course the laddus and appams were also the size of coconuts then. Appam dough was not poured into the mould using a ladle but using big glasses.

The original mysorepaks have this brownish color in the centre and a cream color at either end and they are porous and crisp and melt in the mouth. These days, the soft mysorepaks are more popular. I prefer the crispy, porous ones though.

The trouble with mysorepak, for many, is always that it tends to either become brick-like or just crumble to pieces. Getting the mysorepak just right is not very difficult though.The important ingredient, the bengalgram dal powder (besan) is usually the culprit. The store bought besan is sometimes adulterated and you may not get the best results with it. I usually buy the bengalgram and get it powdered taking care to see that no other powder gets mixed with it. I know it is a tall order in most places now; perhaps you can buy the branded ones from reputed stores. I am trying to give step by step instructions with the help of photographs at various stages of preparation; sorry, no videos this time. Now on with the job.

Ingredients:

Bengal gram flour (besan) : 1 cup
Sugar: 3 cups
Ghee: 3 cups
Lemon juice: 1tsp

Method:

Sieve the besan so that there are no lumps. In a large thick bottomed pan, put the sugar and just enough water to dissolve it. When the sugar dissolves, lower the heat and add the lemon juice. The impurities in the sugar will form a layer on top. Carefully remove this layer. Increase the heat. Meanwhile heat the ghee on another stove. Lower the heat before the ghee reaches smoking point. Keep the ghee  heated; it is this hot ghee poured into the mysore pak at various stages of its preparation that gives it the brown colour in between and the porous texture.

Keep a tray greased.

The sugar syrup should attain one string consistency (remove a little syrup between your fingers and stretch. A fine thread will form between the fingers).

Now add the besan to the sugar syrup a little by little while stirring constantly.

First timers could have some one else do this for them, when they are doing the stirring part. When all the besan has been added, add a ladle of hot ghee and continue to stir. The whole mass should be boiling with some white bubbles at the sides.

Keep adding the hot ghee ladle by ladle, with constant stirring, until all the ghee has been used. Continue to stir, until the whole mass starts frothing from all sides and leaves the sides of the pan while stirring.

Immediately remove from the stove and pour into the greased tray. Sprinkle 1 tbsp of sugar on top. Allow to cool and cut into desired size after half an hour.

Tasty, porous, mysore pak is ready.

Njoy!

Having some one add the besan reminds me of the distress overseas phone call my handsome and charming younger son made years ago, while, then a novice in cooking, he was trying to prepare Upma. He asked me how one was to add the rava to the boiling water while stirring. I asked him how he did it in India, while learning how to make upma. "Then", he replied, "as I was stirring, patti (ammupatti) would add the rava, or if I added the rava, patti would stir. How can I do both together?" Now that he is a very good cook, things are very different altogether.

Happy Diwali.

Patti at last

It gives me tremendous joy to announce the birth of our first adorable and perfect grandchild (a grandson) on 30th October 2010, finally, I am a real Patti.

May he be blessed with good health, long life and every thing good in life.

Down Memory Lane

On his routine phone call, our younger son  (handsome and charming) mentioned the fast approaching  Halloween festival and how the whole neighborhood was getting ready for the festival. This brought back memories of our US visit during Halloween years ago. The whole place was filled with varieties of pumpkins and pumpkin festivals were being held all over the place. We had been to a few such festivals to see the pumpkin carvings.

This also brought to my mind that it was around this time that I started this blog in October 2005. I cannot just believe that this blog has been going on for the past 5 years. What started as just a pastime has become a demanding obsession now.  Our son casually told me one day,"Why don't you start a blog,  Ma?". I actually was not very conversant with the term blog, then. Although I had been using the Internet since the later 90s when our son went to the US for his higher studies to send him emails, chat with him and later to browse topics of my interest (read knitting, embroidery, hobby ideas etc), I had not been browsing any blogs till then. Our son explained to me what a blog was and I was still not sure what I would write there time and again. He said,"write whatever you want to write." After much deliberations and prompting by hubby dear, I said that I would try to write about all things happening around us today and how different they are from what they were when I was growing up. Or to put it in other words, how my astute and blessed mother-in-law would have commented on current affairs had she been around. That's how we decided on the name of the blog "Ammupatti's thoughts."

Ammu was the name of my beloved, alas late, mother-in-law in whose honor I have named my blog. Originally I intended to write my observation of everything around through her eyes (what she would have said were she to be around) for she was a keen observer and a lateral thinker. I learnt a lot about people's  body language and the actual meaning of their words from her. She had this wonderful ability to make friends with everyone, and engage in long conversations with them, be they little kids, teenagers, older people, college goers, anybody. She did not think any one was unreachable. And she had this "never say die" attitude, which I am still  learning. There was never a dull moment when she was around. She could go on talking to people of all ages and cultures. She would even talk to my friend Veena, who spoke no other language other than Kannada and my mother-in-law did not speak any Kannada. "What are you saying to Veena, Amma?" I would ask her, "She doesnt know our language." "She can perfectly follow what I say," she would reply.

And what started as just thoughts, soon metamorphosed into a food blog, owing to the continuous requests from my readers. I never knew today's youngsters would be so interested in learning cooking the traditional style. So I keep writing, though not as much as I would like to, due to my various other preoccupations.

Initially, not many people knew about my blog except close family members. Soon, other relatives around the world started noticing someone named Ammupatti writing about Puthucode and also observed some family photographs. They could not recognise who the author was, as there was no Ammupatti in my family. One asked the other and the chain continued until it reached one of my siblings who explained who the author was. Other Puthucodians also started noticing this blog about Puthucode. Soon enough I had many readers from all over the globe, some of whom have become very close friends and even visited me at my home in Bangalore and it is a nice feeling.

My brother told me this interesting incident that happened during this past Navarathri, which as I have said many times, is a very big festival in Puthucode. One lady who was visiting Puthucode along with some friends asked my mother (taking her to be just another Puthucodian),  which village she belonged to. My mother said she belonged to South village. (We have four main streets in our village which run due south, east, north and west). This lady then asked my mother, if she knew one Ammupatti from South village. My mother said that there was no Ammupatti in south village. The lady insisted that there was one. Then my mother asked her what her connection with Ammupatti was and the lady said that she just wanted to meet this grand old lady from South village who keeps a blog by the name of  Ammupatti's thoughts. My mother had a hearty laugh and said, "Oh that is my daughter." My brother insists this lady was pretty disappointed. "She was expecting to meet an octogenarian," he says.

This journey would not have been possible at all without the continuous support from my hubby dear and our beloved, handsome and charming sons, who patiently read all my drafts and gave me suggestions to improve and also helped me with the photographs. And of course, all of you readers, without whose inspiring comments, I would not have continued writing. Thanks to all of you.

I miss my dear mother-in-law and beloved appa, who would have been very happy to see that I was maintaining a blog with such good readership. These two were the people who were most proud of whatever I did. I actually may have inherited this writing bug from my appa, whose letters and diaries were always very interesting to read. My mother-in-law also used to write exhaustive letters, which give us a lot of merry moments even today.

Thank you my readers, once again and best wishes

Your onam story for the week

Well another Onam is over and we are all back to our usual routine. Our handsome and charming son who now lives in the US celebrated Onam in his own way. He had invited a couple of friends, among whom was an American friend of his who loves Indian food, for his Onam dinner. When our son invited Scott, he asked him what food he was preparing for the dinner. Our son told him the menu which included aviyal. Scott asked him what aviyal was and our son said, “you will know when you come for the dinner.”

On Onam day, his friends arrived and they were all at the dinner table.Scott  (who had done an elaborate search on the Internet to find out what aviyal was) asked our son which of the dishes was aviyal. He tasted the aviyal and was very impressed and asked our son, “do you know there is an interesting story about how aviyal came into existence?” Our son asked him what the story was and Scott narrated the story about the Maharaja of Travancore at the Murajapuram Vedic seminar. Our son asked him where he found this story. Scott said, “you know, there is an interesting blog site by name “Ammupatti’s Thoughts”. That is where I picked this story”. It truly is a small World Wide Web.

Recipe: Erissery

Atham was last week. Thiruonam is round the corner. It is not Ponnin Chingam yet. All the same, Onam festivities begin with Atham. How soon time flies. I cannot believe one year has passed since we last celebrated Onam. Happy Onam to all my readers.

As usual, I started my Pookkalam on Atham day. I was pleasantly surprised to see a nicely done Pookkalam in front of a house during my walk this morning. I regretted not taking my camera along. I did the next best thing I could at that moment, I went upto the door and rang the bell and congratulated the lady of the house for the beautiful Pookkalam.

As I have said in my earlier Onam blogs, Onam means good food, happiness and well-being. I would like to give few of the Onam special recipes during this Onam season.

I will start with Erissery. Erisserry is an exclusive Kerala dish. Erisserry can be prepared using Yam and Banana, Red Pumpkin, Jackfruit, etc. Though the Onam special is erisserry made of Yam and banana, today I am giving the recipe of Mathan Erisserry (pumpkin erisserry) which is a favourite of all at home. During our younger son’s early days in America, he used to say he was not able to get red pumpkin (though when I visited US I found that varieties of squash and pumpkins were available). I used to tell him to go to the pumpkin carving during Halloween and collect all the pieces the carver would cut as waste.:) Let us get moving with erisserry.

Ingredients

cow peas : 2 tbsp.
Red Pumpkin: ½ kg
Turmeric powder: 1 tsp.
Red chilli powder: 1 tsp.
Salt to taste
Jaggery: 1 tsp.
Grated coconut: 4 tbsp.
Jeera: ½ tsp.
Coconut oil: 1 tbsp.
Mustard: 1tsp.
Urad dal: 1 tsp.
Curry leaves: 2 sprigs.

Method:

Soak the cowpeas in water for 3-4 hours and pressure cook.

Grind 2 tbsp grated coconut and jeera to a fine paste.

Cut the pumpkin into 2” pieces. Cook the cut vegetables with turmeric powder, chilli powder and salt, adding 1 cup of water. Add cooked cowpeas.Add jaggery (this is optional. If the pumpkin is naturally sweet, you may omit the jaggery). Add the ground coconut paste and boil. Remove from the stove and add one sprig of curry leaves.

Heat the coconut oil in a wide fry pan, add mustard, urad dal and curry leaves. When the urad dal turns to light pink, add the remaining grated coconut and fry till the coconut turns red in color. Pour the seasoning on top of Erisserry.

This erisserry can be served with rice, chappathis, dosa, etc.

Enjoy!

The Grand Finale

The much awaited day dawned. Of course, we were all up much before the day dawned and we did not see any daylight until it was late afternoon. We had to leave for the venue very early, so we all woke up after a very short nap and got ready to leave, (we had to collect the fresh flowers from our garden for Y’s hair dress and pick up other things kept ready) so that we could reach in time to do the bridal make over for Y. We were planning to start the ceremonies at 6.30am.With the help of Veena and Y’s mother we got Y ready on schedule.

We had the bride and groom exchange the garlands with lots of merriment.We had planned to have an oonjal ceremony before the Arya samaj style wedding, as this is a function full of fun and everybody enjoys it. We had a lovely oonjal.

The Oonjal ceremony was enjoyed by all especially by the bride and her parents. My cousins Rama and Geetha sang the oonjal songs.

Immediately after we started with wedding ceremonies.

The ceremony had most of our rituals, like Kanyadhan, homams, Panigrahan, saptapadi, shilarohan, parikarma, lajahoma, mangalyadharan, sindhoor, Aashirvad, etc., though there were some differences in the rituals from the regular tambram rituals. For instance, in the Shilarohan ceremony (ammi mithikkal), it is the groom who leads the bride by taking 7 steps towards the granite slab and places her foot on to the slab, saying whatever difficulties arise in our life you must be firm like this granite stone. In Arya samaji style, it is the bride’s mother, who places the bride’s foot onto a piece of granite and tell her to be firm as a granite under any circumstance.

Then there was another ritual in which the groom’s mother is asked to sprinkle some water onto the bride’s head and tell her, “as a family there could be occasions when we may have to use harsh words, but you are advised to keep your cool and take everything as contributing towards the welfare and happiness of the family.”

We are 5 now with the addition of beautiful Y into our family

The wedding ceremony was followed by a reception with Y dressed in a beautiful Kimono. The reception makeover was completely done by Y’s super talented mom.

So the much awaited, much planned and much discussed about event took place to the satisfaction of one and all.

As usual every one praised about the planning and execution of various events. And yet there were events which won the appreciation of one and all. Some of these were:

The flower decoration was something which was very very special.

The food. The food was exotic to say the least. The banquet executive had taken special care to provide all the items in the menu, onion and garlic free to selected guests. (We had asked for one or two items onion and garlic free as there were some elderly people in our family who wouldn’t eat onion and garlic. He assured us that he could provide a special spread of all items in the menu onion and garlic free for our special guests).

The reception. Every one appreciated the gesture of the bride and groom moving among the guests and meeting each and everyone of them. The usual practice we find these days is the bride and groom and their parents standing in the mantap and the guests queuing up just to go up and wish them and getting photographed and hurrying up to have their meal and leave.

A special appreciation for timing of the reception for the noon. Many of our guests, especially the senior citizens and ladies were very happy that it was a lunch reception as it becomes very difficult for people to commute for a dinner reception in the late evenings, in the present day traffic chaos of Bangalore.

And finally, we had arranged for the bride and groom to come home after the reception. We also had Y’s parents accompany them to follow the tradition of leaving the daughter at the in-laws’ home. After the usual aarati at the front door, we gave the bride and groom paalum pazhavum(milk and banana). As my Vasantha chithi says, having paalum pazhavum symbolises the couple complementing each other like banana in milk, at the same retaining their identities.

I beseech all my readers to join me in wishing the couple a happy and long wedded life. May Heaven’s choicest Blessings be showered on them.

Counting Down

The frequency with which I am writing gives me jitters that I might not finish the wedding episode by the time my children celebrate their anniversary.Ever since our son got married we have been taking vacations like never before. The recent one at the peak of the summer to Kerala was both enjoyable , because we visited many places that we had been planning for years and very tiring because of the heat and humidity. Bangalore itself saw one of the worst summers in the recent times with temperatures hitting a 30 years high and the months of April and May this year were just unbearable. We followed it with a really humid summer in Kerala. Thankfully, we had the satisfaction of visiting all our destinations without any problems.

To continue with the wedding, as I said earlier, I was like a robot once the children arrived. I had to accompany them on their shopping and check with the tailor on the new dresses to be made, visit the hotel for the last minute briefings and arrangements about the decoration, food, etc., and be at home for meeting with various event managers and do up the house. Y was a great help in decorating the house. She and our elder son did all the decoration at home. I was also cooking all the meals at home especially because we did not want Y to get any problems eating out as this was her first visit to India. I am proud to say that Y ate all her meals at home (the regular tambram food) and never complained. We all appreciated her for that gesture.

As the D day was approaching we were almost ready with all the preparations and plans and moves and what should be done whens and who should be doing whats and where would one be at any given times, and…. ….. And yet there were things that could be done only on the given day and we made sure everything was well planned

And it was 1st February. Y’s parents arrived and were comfortably put up in the same hotel as the wedding was to take place. We had planned a meeting at home and wanted to serve home made food. As Y had been with us for few days now, I had planned a menu in consultation with her so that her family would be comfortable with the food served. They all enjoyed the Kali, Kari, Bajji, Mysorepak and especially the black tea that they preferred. Indian tea is very tasty, they said. On the 2nd, Y with her brother and parents went around Bangalore. Since it is a custom with us to give lunch to the bride’s people after the wedding, we decided to take them out for lunch on the following day (there was not enough time after the wedding).

On the evening of the 3rd was the Mehendi ceremony. As we were not sure about the contents of the commercially available mehendi cones, we were planning to use the mehendi powder we had made at home from hand picked mehendi leaves . We were not very successful in getting the powder to a consistency that could be squeezed through a cone. We tested the commercial cone and were satisfied that Y had no sesitivity to the product. Y was very excited about getting the mehendi applied. My friend’s daughter applied mehendi for Y.




Our guests from outside Bangalore started arriving on the morning of the 4th. Lunch was arranged at home. The decorators did up the house and the house was reverberating with the usual “Kalyana veedu” conversations.

We had arranged for a get together with all the family members and Y's family in the evening. Y’s parents were very surprised that all the guests present at the function were immediate family members. We told them that there were many more who could not make it for the function. We also had a sort of Nischayathartham in the evening and presented Y with the saree and the jewellery she was to wear the next day. Our son was also presented with the clothes he would be wearing the next day. As is the custom, my mother and brothers gave gifts to us and our son. We wrapped up the evening with dinner at home. The guests went back to their rooms for a good night’s rest.

We were busy till late into the night keeping everything ready for the next day and double checking. We had to leave home by 5.30am so that we would have enough time to get Y ready. We had not hired a professional for bridal make up, as again we were not sure if Y would be comfortable with the cosmetics used by the local beauticians. My friend Veena had taken up the responsibility of helping Y to get dressed up for the function. And so, we also went to bed for a short rest in the wee hours.

Preparations get frenzied

My husband and I reached Bangalore by middle November and we were glad that we had only recently had the house painted and refurbished just before we left for Hyderabad. We did not have to do anything towards preparing the house for the occasion except for the routine cleaning.

And yet, by the end of the first week at Bangalore, we were nowhere near our target. The first and foremost requirement was to fix the venue for the wedding without which we could not submit the affidavit at Arya Samaj (we had to mention the date and time and venue of the wedding) nor could we print the invitations. Though we had asked our friends at Bangalore to shortlist a few venues not much progress had been made on that account. By end of the first week, we decided to visit some of the hotels we had shortlisted and make enquiries. My nephew who is a student of hospitality management suggested The Chancery Pavilion and we visited the hotel and were very happy with the ambience. It was also centrally located in the city for the convenience of all the guests. Moreover, we could book our international guests in the same hotel. We did have some initial difficulties with the rates but with the help of a good friend we could get the services at an affordable price. It was 5^th December and the date of wedding was fixed for 5^th February 2010. We had exactly 2 months to go and the list of things to do was growing like Hanuman’s tail. We prepared a list prioritising the things to do and marked the date by which each activity should have been done. This list was getting updated every day.

Having decided on the venue the first thing to do was to submit the affidavit at Arya Samaj. Next was getting invitations printed. Getting the card blanks was not a difficult issue as we knew exactly where to go for them and our son had already indicated the type of card he would like to have. A good friend of my brother who owns a printing press promised to get the cards printed in 2 days. By 15^th December, the cards were also ready. We decided to post the card for outstation guests in the first stage so that they would receive them well in advance. Then started the process of inviting the local guests personally. While doing the rounds inviting people, we made it a point to visit the famous shops in those areas and get a good picture of the things available at each place so that we could decide on the shop and purchase the items on a convenient day. This made our final shopping very easy.

Meanwhile we were also busy with getting the saree blouses stitched for Y which was one of the most difficult tasks. As Y did not have a saree blouse for sample, I had asked her to send me the necessary measurements to get a blouse tailored, but none of the tailors we approached were ready to stitch a blouse with only body measurements. They all needed a sample blouse. Different people take measurements differently, they said. I would have stitched the blouses for Y myself, but I was already running short of time doing the various other things and decided it was not a wise idea . Finally I remembered one of my teachers from whom I had learnt embroidery, who was also a very good tailor and approached her. I knew she was too old to take any orders but she ever so kindly recommended my problem to her niece who is a very good tailor. My idea was to get 2 sample blouses done and send one to Y so that she could try it on and tell me of any corrections to be made. That was a big relief and the tailor promptly delivered the blouses so I could send one to Y in time for her to try and comment.

2010 arrived on time. We were progressing as scheduled. Invitations had been sent and acknowledged. We had a fair idea of the number of outstation guests who would be attending the wedding and accordingly accommodation had been booked for them. All shopping for the bridal couple as well as gifts for the other family members and guests had been done, except the jewellery for the bride. We were waiting for Y to arrive and choose her jewellery. The dates of arrival of the bride and family were known and accommodation booked. I felt that we were in a comfortable situation. Yet I would spend sleepless nights occasionally counting on the long list of small errands yet to be run. All the other members of the family assured me that everything was going as planned and there was no need to panic.

Finally, our handsome, charming and now soon to be wedded son arrived. I had taken an assurance from him that he would be present wholly at home with no phone, no office work, to be with me to help organise my thoughts and plans and do the last minute finalisation of the photographer, florist, etc.

A week later our elder son arrived and so did Y. We got busy again shopping for the jewellery for Y and also the wedding dresses for our sons and some Indian dresses for Y. The wedding was less than 2 weeks away and I was getting busier and busier as I had to take care of the preparations at home as well as accompany the children for the shopping. I was working like a robot.

Picking the rituals

Having decided on an Indian wedding, we now had to decide on what wedding rituals would be most convenient and comfortable considering the bride and family were totally new to Indian rituals. As I had written earlier, a truly south Indian wedding is an elaborate affair extending for more than 2 days and long hours of sitting in front of the havan(homam). We were not sure Y and family would be very comfortable doing that. At the same time, since our son wanted an Indian wedding we wanted to include as many South Indian rituals as possible. After long deliberations and Internet searching we decided that an Arya Samaj Wedding would be more appropriate since the wedding rituals included most of the South Indian rituals in a concise manner. It included a havan for a short duration and also a laaja homa. We were in Hyderabad at this time and we wanted to have the wedding in January – February. We got in touch with the Arya samaj at Bangalore. The following are the procedures for conducting a wedding in Arya Samaj style.

1. First one registers with the local Arya Samaj and pays a registration fee.
2. An application form to be filled by both the bride and groom and their parents and witnessed by one representative from each side has to be submitted to the Arya Samaj, giving the date and place of the wedding. A sum of Rs. 3000 to be paid as marriage donation.
3. A notarised affidavit stating that the couple are getting married on their own accord to be submitted.
4. We may conduct the wedding at any venue.
5. The Arya Samaj also gives a wedding certificate that may be used to register the wedding in India.
   
6. The Arya Samaj wedding rituals last about 90 minutes. If one wants to conduct extra rituals they may be conducted either before or after the arya samaj rituals.

Having decided on the Arya Samaj wedding, we set out getting the forms signed by our son and the bride. We were still in Hyderabad and were planning to reach Bangalore by end November. After having informed all the family members by phone, we set out making plans and schedules and setting time limits. We spent atleast 2-3 hours a day improving on our plans and schedules.

Y was excited about all these elaborate wedding rituals and said she was willing to wear a Mangala Sutra and insisted that she wanted to wear a saree during the ceremony. So I requested my mother who was then staying in Kerala to get a pair of traditional Thirumangalyam done. Having given the order for the most important and auspicious piece of jewellery, we set out planning for other details.

The next was picking the venue. Though there are very spacious and luxurious and sophisticated wedding halls which may cost upto Rs. 2 lakhs per day, one thing we have noticed in most of them was the chaos in the dining and washing areas and the restrooms. Hence we decided that we would conduct the marriage in a hotel, where all the basic amenities would be taken care of. Picking the venue would have to wait until we got back to Bangalore anyway.

We had our friend K pick an auspicious day and time for the marriage.

The guest list was prepared.

The gifts list for the guests was prepared. This took a long time as there were different types of gifts for different sets of people. Starting from the innermost circle of the bride and groom to the outermost circle of all the guests who participated in the wedding it was a large set of concentric circles. Care had to taken not to miss out anyone.

Accommodation for the out-station guests was also an important item. We decided to postpone that until we reached Bangalore.

Regarding the rituals and functions, we wanted to have as many functions as possible but at the same time wanted to restrict them to the ones that Y and her parents would be comfortable with. We did not want to inconvenience them with rituals they were not comfortable with. After all a wedding is an occasion for celebration and not for punishment. For example, Y said her parents may not be comfortable with washing the son-in-law's feet, which is a ritual in our Kanyadhan. Similarly it would have been difficult for them to sit through long hours of havans in the typical Iyer style of wedding. The Arya Samaj style accommodated these requirements.

So we decided that we would have some functions to entertain the guests like a Mehendi for the bride and groom, a get together the previous day at home with lunch and dinner, a small function to gift the bride and groom with the wedding dress and other things in place of Janavasam and Nischayathartham.

And we decided to reach Bangalore well in advance to do the actual preparations for the wedding.

Back from a break

Hello everyone! It feels nice to be able to greet all my readers after a long time. As many of you had correctly guessed, we were busy with the wedding of our handsome, charming and younger son. It is rightly said in the Tamil proverb, “Kalyanam Panni Par, Veettai Katti par” (Conduct a marriage, construct a house), by the time one gets done with the job, one gets so exhausted one needs plenty of energy boosters to get going once again.

So, it was with lot of excitement and joy that we celebrated the wedding of our handsome and charming son on the 5th February, 2010. To put it in my husband’s own words, it was a truly international event. Owing to its international nature, each ceremony had to be planned carefully, taking into account that the most important guests were new to all this. A lot of thinking and discussions and suggestions went into planning each little event so that all the guests would be most comfortable. As such, a wedding in India is an elaborate and time consuming affair with both the bride’s and the groom’s family planning separate events and ultimately merging on the mega day to make it a grand affair. In our case, since all the arrangements had to be done by us it was even more exhausting.

To begin at the beginning, as all of you know we had been planning to get our son married for sometime now, when he was in India to expand his company’s business. We were not successful in getting a suitable bride for him and in the first quarter of 2009, he returned to the U.S. We were all the more concerned at the turn of events as now we had to look for somebody who would be willing to relocate to the U.S. After a few months of being there, our son called us up one day to say that he had found the right girl for him to get married, if we had no objection in his marrying an American. Our only concern was that the girl should be open to Indian culture considering that our son himself is very strongly rooted in Indian values and culture. He never misses an Indian festival even in America, living alone. He would want to observe all the Indian festivals. Apart from that, if he felt that they are compatible we had no objection. So it went back and forth and the girl had to get her parents’ views about marrying an Indian and in short, it was decided our son would marry Yoshimi, an American citizen of Japanese origin. We would like to have an Indian wedding, said our son. Having read my earlier posts on South Indian wedding, Yoshimi was also very excited in getting married in India. This started the planning for the great event our family held to everyone’s satisfaction.