Monday, April 03, 2006

Birthstars

The other night, as I was all concentrated in finishing the sweater I was knitting, which had long crossed my deadline, the phone rang. A little irritated by the interruption, I answered the call. It was a friend of mine, I hadn't heard from in a long time.

The first question he asked me was, "is your sister-in-law's son married"? I was a little taken aback from his abrupt enquiry, as we had never discussed my sister-in-law. However, he was more surprised when I answered in the affirmative. I would say, he was rather disappointed. He tried to make his question clear to me, in case I was sleepy. He said, I am asking about your sister-in-law's doctor son. I assured him that, I have only one sister-in-law and she has only one son, who happens to be a doctor and he got married last year. Out of curiosity, I asked him, whom was he groom-hunting for? He said, it is for my daughter, her birthstar is Moola. I exchanged a few niceties and that was that.

The day a daughter is born with the birth star, Moola, the father starts worrying about her marriage. As such, there are so many parameters to be matched in an Indian arranged marriage. Added to it, if the girl has a birthstar as Moola or Ayilyam, the father is doomed. It is believed that a girl with a birthstar as Moola or Ayilyam brings bad luck to the father-in-law. So, no family, where both parents are alive, agrees to take a girl having moola or Ayilya star as daughter-in-law. The father has to start looking grooms only from families where only one of the parents is alive. Thats how, my friend suddenly remembered about my sister-in-law's son.

I have often wondered how can it be that only in Kerala Brahmin community, the girl with Moola or Ayilya will bring bad luck to her father-in-law. I have heard that In the other communities in Kerala, a girl with Moola star is considered to be very auspicious. There are other communities where the girl's birth star is not considered during the time of marriage.

What happens to the fathers-in-law of such girls whose birth star may be Moola or Ayilya. Again, in our own community, there are families, who do not consider Moola or Ayilya as inauspicious and agree to marry a girl having Moola or Ayilya star and have lived happily with both the in-laws having long life. When I said this to a friend of ours, who was hunting for a groom for his only sister with Moola star,(finally this girl got married into a family where both father and mother were alive and they had a long life even after making a girl with Moola star as their daughter-in-law), he told me,"when you have a large variety to shop from, why would you want to buy a shop soiled item?"

My own aunt,whose birth star was Moola, married her own cousin with the consent of her uncle and aunt and there was no problem in the family.

All said and done, with all modern thinking, when it comes to marriage, we still want to cling on to the old sayings like, Moolathu mamiyar mukkile (the mother-in-law of moola girl will have to remain inside the house, meaning she will soon lose her husband), Ayilyathu mamiyar aasanthiyile (same as moolam), etc. The same moolam for a boy brings all luck to him. Aan moolam arasalum (a boy with moola star will rule the world). Such adages are attached to various other birthstars also, some bringing luck and someothers not so much luck. For example, Dhanishta (avittam)star is supposed to bring prosperity.

Avittam Tahvittu Panayile Panam ( a person with avittam birthstar will make money in any field he enters). Kettai kotta kettum (a person with birth star Jyeshta will make palaces), Makam poranda mangai (a girl born on maka star has all luck showered on her), Bharani dharani aalvan (a person with birth star Bharani will rule the world), Chithirayappan theruvile (a child with chitra star will bring illluck to its father), Athathappan arayolum (father of a child with Hastha star will live only until the child reaches the height of his father's waist) etc. We have living examples to prove all these as utter non-sense. In our own family, we have children with birthstars, chithirai, atham and the fathers have had a long and healthy life. Similarly, Mrigaseersha, Anusham, Swathi, Uthram are all supposed to bring loads of luck.

This has led to a very interesting phenomenon today. Today, in India, most of the children are delivered through ceasarian section (the doctors can plan for the surgery so as not to interefere with their other appointments) and hence the doctors ask the parents to decide on the date and time (and hence the birth star) they like their child to be born.

34 comments:

anandr said...

It is a little funny though. If this gentleman had not been conservative and hidebound but had instead told his daughter that he wanted her to go out and have a good time and he had been completely liberal with her, she would have found herself a boy by now.

Anonymous said...

Its all about superstitions. Either you believe it or leave it. You cannot have half faith.Its like the recent bomb hoaxes .Even you know that the call to the railway station or airport is a blank call still the police have to stop the trains,vacate the stations,hold the departures of flights etc.

Will any body dare to give a go ahead signal ?

Ultimately police will find some bundles of cloth(That you get any time if you search any railway station or busstation..........).

Like that so may inlaws and out laws die irrespective of the star of the sons, daugtors, self, wife etc,but still who (the half belief in superstitions) will dare to take the risk?

How many marriages with all Poruthams have ended up in divorse within months........

Go to Ramayana.I dont know the star of Sita.But dasaratha died immediately after the marriage of sita?didnt vasishta(The rajaguru) match the horoscope properly?There is a saying Vasitar Vayale........

Ramnavami is celebrated all over India as an auspicious day but Navami is considered a bad day for any good act...........

Astami Rohini is birthday of Krishna(It has to be a good day).But astami is considered a bad day and the uncles of Rohini star are scared.

I remember my mother was very much worried when my son was due 16 years back .As per the expected delivery date the star was Rohini and my wife has only one brother. My mother was tense that the birth of my child(we never knew it was going to be a son or daughter)should not bring evil to his\her uncle.All ends well that ends well.Ultmately our son came two days earlier on star Bharani(which as you say will Rule the world).

(As Ganesha went round his parents and finished the world tour saying my parents are the world for me to get the divine fruit .......... the story goes on)

My son also belives in that and he rules us .So may be the saying is right Bharani dharani alum.

And my daughter .....hers star is kettai which says kettai jestnaaka(Kettai is bad for elder brother).and she allways fights with her brother.

So this also true

hackingtom said...

So nice to read such an article with common sense and logic. Nice thought.

Rama said...

Although I am a modern person and don't generally believe in such supersitions, but lately I am plagued with my half- baked knowledge about stars like moolam ayhilyam and ketai, when it comes to looking for a groom for my daughter, with these stars.
It is just as the person commented like a train bomb hoax, one cant be sure. It was nice reading all the good points though. regards Rama Ananth

Ammupatti said...

Hi Rama

I agree with you that though people are generally modern in their outlook and do not attach much values tothese old adages, when it comes to their own personal matters, they would like to believe in them after all. Like one of our friends says," Why pick a dented "chombu" from the shop?

Wish you Good Luck in your daughter's marriage.

Anonymous said...

Well.... can we comment so readily on a subject which has been prevalent for thousands of years?
Indeed,there are several situations where doubts about this science rise.Infact when one ventures deep ,one finds so many contradictions.
The details are overwhelming and sometimes seem unfair(like there are these strange ,weird four conditions under which the girls birthstar isnt considered one among which is :if she has a love marriage .Now that isnt fair!!!!)

Also, there certainly are many situations which prove all the proverbs,like the one about moolam ,atham and so on wrong...but let us not forget that there are other governing factors too -which may have influenced the course of events to deviate from the defined one.

The fact is that , we have half knowledge and are prepared to criticize the subject readily.
We read a thing about it hear and there,find something contradicting it in daily life and then declare that all these things are wrong.
Is it not wrong to blame a subject just because we have imcomplete knowledge about the same?

And i am sure....if some european scientist had come up with this subject of astrology , we all wld have accepted it very readily under some famous theories and perhaps had them in textbooks too!!!!!!

We shldnt dismiss light just because we cant see it.Light is definitely there,just that we are ignorant enough to see it.
Same applies for our vedic knowledge.

Astrology has always been debated for it is beyond our rational explanation but never been abandoned because the excitement and craving to know our future is so basic to us humans.

I am still finding out if there is truth in it.....let us give it a small chance before dismissing it away.

If nothing at all , we have a topic over that lazy afternoon tea to talk about!:)

love and light
manimau

Smiley said...

well, i would be more interested to know about the 4 conditions that excludes considering the girl's birthstar. anyone knows more about it? especially since i am moolam and soon going to marry. i dont want to bring harm to my husband's family. if its true i will wait until his father has lived his hundred years. BUT THE POINT IS, IS IT TRUE. SHOW ME THE PROOF.

personally i dont believe in this stuff, unless God himself told me that its true. but i respect the sentiments of my in laws and they are equal to my parents. how can i bring harm to them?

Manimau, addresses all this pertains to vedic literature, but i read somewhere else (as i was searching about this all over the internet world and thus landed here) that things about moolam star is not really there in the vedic literature. these have been rather people's additions to Vedas and shastras. whoever wants to prove it, show it to me in the exact verse and chapter in the vedic literature where it is described, then i will believe it. bcoz vedas are said to have been written by Lord Vishnu himself.

whether it is true or not, is there any parikaram that i can do to null the effect? the bad shop concept does not apply to me as i love this guy. thats why i am also more interested to know if its love marriage, whether it has not effect or not. we want to marry with the blessings of both of our parents and even a reluctant yes would not be really whole hearted blessings from my parents-in-law. I am desperate and someone HELP!!!

Smiley said...

ohh by the way, in my desperation, i forgot to mention this blog is very interesting and informative. hats off to Ammupatti who started it.

R said...

Hi All,

Its nice to see all the comments. One of my friend as the same Moola star with First patham. She is in love with one guy whose parents having beleive in all those things.. Bcoz of this his parents not accepting her. COuld you plz guide us is there any parikaram to do for this?????? It will be really helpfull.. She cant live with out him. She very much worried about this.. Kindly do needful.

Smiley said...

Hi R,

I have been on the look out for a "parikaram" for this. but in vain. because this belief has no astrological basis. so for something that came by word of mouth by someone (without an astrological basis) where is the parikaram for such (superstitious) beliefs??? but parents sentiments cannot be disregarded. so the solution my dad offered was to do a Ayush-homam (a puja for longevity) in the name of my prospective father-in-law. so even if there is any so called ill effects of my star, this puja could protect them from this. only thing is that the father-in-law should participate in this puja as it is done for him.

despite this offer, they said they dont want to take "risk" which makes me feel, all this mula etc problem they say is only to put off the "love marriage" that they dont like happeneing in thier family. so now, we have offered the solution also. and we are waiting for thier yes and thier belief that this homam could protect them from the threat of my star.

when one believes in these things they should also believe in the pujas and parikarams. if they pick and choose what to believe according to thier convenience, then thier beliefs also has no meaning.

as "anonymous" said, one cant have half faith. if they believe about the star effect then they should also believe about the homam effect.

for ex. there are very many jathagam or horoscope predictions in which they say the person's first wife wont survive and he will only have a long living second wife. for this what they do is to select an auspicious day or on the day of the wedding itself, the groom ties the mangal sutra to a banana tree and then they fell the tree as though it was the death of the first wife. and then he ties the knot to the bride intended as though it was his "second" wedding. so our ancestors even when they believed something to be true knew how to overcome such things. problem is that today people still hold on to the beliefs but refuse to see the alternatives and how to solve the problem.

anyways all the best for you, R. try this ayush-homam. tell them it would protect not only from a bad star of daughter in law but also any bad planetary position/s of thier own horoscope as well... i dont believe in this mula star thing as there is no concrete evidence nor did God so far come and tell me that it is true. but i do believe that puja and any kind of prayer does have a positive effect. so i believe this would work as a "parikaram".

Anonymous said...

Hi,

It is good that such a topic discussed, and when i read the comment most of the people dont want to believe in this, but like the hoax call example didnt want to take the risk.

Practically speaking we all take risk involving our selves, but when it comes to other ( i.e. when others are involved ) we try to avoid taking the risk. Because we dont want to hurt others.

i am also facing the situation here, ( as i cant say it as a problem ). Currently my mom lookign for a bride for me. the problem is two are three astrologers to whom she went along with others said, my marriage will be only love marriage and i will not marry the girl selected by my mother. Truly speeking i am 28 and havnt lucky enough to fall in love with a girl in college or after that. Now i dont feel any chance of that happening as i am more into work , and here in UAE where i work there only desert and few camel's.

When i say to my mother this, she say's that she believes me but then asks me if i am in love with any girl, if so she will agree to marry me to that girl. As she dont want to marry me to a another girl and which may create a problemd later in my life.

Look at the IRONY here, ther are hords of boys who are in love, but unable to say or convince their parents regarding this, who deny the same sighting traditions and customs.

And one more thing, when i was 21 one of the astrologer said i will go to a different country to work. But i landed up a job in a govt organisation, as you all know a job in a govt. org in hard to get and mostly people wont leave that job. So, when another astrologer said the same after two years , i said " Enakenna paithiyamma, Govt. Job vidarathukku ". But now i am working for a pvt. firm in UAE, because of the scope, profile and Money.

Ok, thx for providing me a space to share my thoughts to the person who started this.

Ammupatti said...

Hi anonymous

I wish you all the best in finding your lady love!

Anonymous said...

I was born with my birth star as Pooradam. Is it okay for me to marry a girl with Moolam as her birth star. She is a very nice person but at the same time I don't want to take any risk .

Sharmi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Very true - I have heard all this and my sister recently had a baby girl - 2 weeks back - she planned for Magam but the baby just came on Ayilyam - wouldnt wait! My sister was so depressed - its unbelievable that she could be so in this age and time..

But truth be told, I am Kettai I lost my own brother when I was 20 and everyone said it was bevause of my star and Kettai Jeshtanukku(brother?) aagadhu!

Anonymous said...

When a person ascends this world, his desent is also decided. So in case a father-in-law dies after the marriage of his son with a Moolam star daughter-in-law he is destined for it. If he avoids that by not choosing Moolam God has already destined some other form for his death. Today people throng temple out of fear and greed. One day if Lord Balaji says 'I will give Boon for anything other than wealth' I am not sure how many will visit him. I am a firm believer in God and if you are one do things which are to your mind correct. He will take care of everything. In fact Sir Maha Periyaval has said " The Girls Star Moolam will Nirmool all bad things in grooms family and make it a fit family" (Pen Moolam Nirmoolam here means that). But who wants to listen to such great people.

rk said...

Hi.. Thanks for this informative article. I really liked it. I also came across this similar site with nice articles and videos on vedic prinicples - http://www.vichaar.tv

ramanan said...

all these show our ignorance.. when u think of all those who died in tsunami in earth quakes, in masss mishaps where does this hjoro ans voice s of great sages go.. consider people dying in haiti , sri lanka , millions of tamils who die were all ther horos bad.. its utter stupidity...where all the girls stars moolam no way .. don believe in stars believe in ur intutions and knowledege rather then pushing in to these things......

these are personal thoughts of the author not posted to hurt others..

AliveSmiling said...

hmmm Ramanan, well said. I got to agree with you. I am sure even the personal horoscopes of people who died in tsunamis and wars all differ in their predictions about their longevity...

hope said...

hi smiley
am suffering from the same problem as yours. most of the astrolgers gave negative comments about the marriage with my guy.in need of hope now. did you find any solutions? are you married to the one whom you loved? pl give me a solution.

AliveSmiling said...

Dear Hope,

So far no one has given me any parikarams as such. so ayush homam could be suggested. but those who live in fear just live in fear. no one or no homam or parikaram can help a person unless he/she turns around and faces his/her fears.

now coming to how to tackle this issue. if your guy is supportive and is very clear that it wont affect his parents, go ahead and get married to him with or without his parent's consent. if not there is not point trying to get married to someone who is not supportive. how will he be later in life then?

in my case, things turned out rather more complex. we started getting into lot of fights and arguments on all kinds of issues that at one point we both decided to let go (since his parents were just not agreeing and if he has to leave them for me, is it all going to be worth it given the fact that we have serious compatibility issues). That was the logic there.

but one day i got to know from him that his parents themselves had told him that they were resorting to psychic/ black magic methods to get us into fights and separate us. now whether we fought because of all this or if we would have fought even without it, only God almighty knows.

we decided to give up trying to get married and wished well for each other and separated. a week or so later, his mom got diagnosed for cancer. now all the more reason why he wud not be able to change his mind and try to convince his parents. he could not make her tensed or depressed. there was no chance for us to consider reconciling.

now she was diagnosed for cancer only after i broke up with him and so no one can blame my star for that. in fact, it may even be possible my star was protective (if we go by Sir Maha Periyaval's opinion about Moola abolishing the ill effects of the husband's family).

then i spent an entire year dealing (rather healing) from all the pain and hurt... now i have healed and i learnt a lot more about metaphysical aspects of our soul's journey on earth, karma and so on. I came to a point of understanding so many things about my own life experiences that I am now pursuing a course on hypnotherapy after a PhD in cancer genetics and being a Senior Scientist!!! my quest for truth does not stop (one main quality of Moola star ;D)

All I can say from my learning is this: two people share lives only up to a point that it is meant to be. souls have agreed before birth about how they meet, treat and leave (or not leave) each other before hand. so no one is to blame. we are all here to learn our lessons. each soul has a life learning. and it is pre-decided with whom, for how long we share our lives and what we teach and learn. i learnt a lot about relationships, about giving, forgiving and about Love itself from this guy and i am thankful to him and his family for facilitating the progress of my soul.

i know all this may seem very out of context for you (or who knows? may be i am saying the things that you exactly need to hear). but dont worry. i sense you feel a little lost in hope but take heart and let life unfold. believe that whatever happens is for a greater good and you are never given more than you can handle.

so this is where i am right now and for any person who does not believe in metaphysics and the like, just can conclude that i have lost my mind (so that they feel at peace).

Hope, have courage and faith. if it happens it is good. if it doesnt then i can assure you that one day you would look back and know that it was better it did not happen.

TC. keep looking. you will find your way.

sarathy said...

hi pls help me,i'm in love wit a gal whose birth star is kettai, i have 1 elder(married),younger brother,my parents saying if i marry her my elder brother life wil be in risk,i cant forget her, pls tel me is this true?

Aravind said...

HI this is aravind help me out on this. My birth star is Ayila. I am in love. Some astrlogers say Ayilya is not good for my Mother-in-law but some says it holds good only for girls who have Ayilya. I am very much worried about it. I dont whom to believe. Each one is saying different things.

If anyone knows about these details kindly help me.

AliveSmiling said...

@Sarathy, Aravind and everyone else looking for solutions to this "birthstar" issue.

overcome your fear that is the only way out of this. bcoz, everyone comes on earth with some fixed destined events (with a basic life plan). and that includes when u will be born and when u will die. no one else's birthstar has any influence on this.

I am very surprised how much longer this discussion can go on and on.

- Smiley
(give more smiles per hour)

BALAMURALI.S said...

Dear All,

I came across this Site recently. I can read what people are..

Josiyam ,has to be analysed by well experienced person (360'), before concluding that the girl or boy is not made for each other.

Let me say, If something has to happen, It will Happen , no one can stop it. I believe that we can't change any thing but god has given enough endurance to face it. it is applicable to both good and bad things of life.everything is written for you. So put on your worries, happiness, burdens and Bliss to god and work freely with positive attitude.

Shyam said...

Hi Ammupatti / Anonymous and all
Most people posting thier comments here are Iyers. About .5% of Indian population is Iyer and it is a huge huge number. So , for some one doing arrainge marriage, it is practically possible to find his/her spouse with the correct nakshatra as well as other matches of profession , language (tamil vs Malayalam) age etc, by doing a random and rapid search using variety of Matrimonial Channels available. Hence no need for any one at all to worry about Nakshatra. Also as suggested by another blooger most of the new births are ceasarian.

So let us try to politically unite the .5 % of Indian population and get a minister in State or Centre. This will help the community better. My 5 cents of thought ...

Regards
shyambk_2004@yahoo.com

amy said...

This looks interesting. I hope many people will be able to read this. This is informative. Thanks for this.

AKaur said...

Intresting convesation for a confused mind...

I come from a malayali brahmin fmail who is absolutely ONLY God fearing and has not pateince for nakshatra doshams / nakshtrams etc (that said they do prefer to have an arranged mariage only after matching horoscopes et al as formality!)
I am marrie dinto a sardar family again ONLY God fearing.

I am going to have my second baby via CSection and I am not able to decide if I should look out for a suitable birthdate or leave it to Dr. (That said both families favour Dr. and faith in God !!!)

I wish and I think i should just let it go and enjoy my last few days pregnency :-).

Thanks for the intresting read.

chocolate1986 said...

Hi all,
Logically speaking, How could we say that a person's death is determined by his daughter in law's birthstar who will not yet be born ?
Half belief is always dangerous than believing or not believing it. Whatever destined to happen will happen.. Nobody can change it.

Kiran Iluri said...

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Anonymous said...

Hi All,

I am going to have my second baby via C-Section on kettai/jyeshta nakshatra. I am having a elder son. Does anyone know kettai nakshatra is not good for elder brother if it is a boy or girl?

Thanks in advance

priya said...

my star s ayilyam and my guy's s chithirai and we were been told he'll die if get married..u couldn't give up and me guy s telling I can't gv u such a miserable life.so am n tat situation n both ways. parikaram should b there..we r n tat hope only.how long my guy would hold tis , I don't know tat too even..v r mentally sick now..like consumed slow poison..life sucks

Anonymous said...

i read the above posts & comments,

My son's nakshathra is Jyesta (thrikketai) - have only one kid. I heard somewhere if the elder kid with kettai will lost father ,when he got an younger brother/sister , so i'm bit worried - if i give birth to a 2nd child then will it bring any bad thing in my life (husband).

I have 2 proofs ( one lost his father when he got his younger brother , another case is divorced -girl with thrikkettai got younger sister --both lost their father)

plz reply

Samyukta said...

Superstitions is ruling world!! Any one please help me. My friends parents are rejecting me because my star is moolam. We r fighting alomost a year now and their response is" this is age old belief from our family ". We know that there is pariharam but they r not ready to accept it. can anyone help me on this